Plan A is to keep my house.
Assuming that can even be done. I’ve considered that I may need to temporarily halt my colon hydrotherapy business and move us all into my studio so I can rent out the main house and be able to consistently make the mortgage payments.
Then ride this out and see what happens. If I can just manage to stay here one more year to get my junior through high school that will be the best case scenario.
I am really giving it my best here. I am getting all my paperwork together to apply for a few disaster relief loans. I have applied for a local grant. I am taking all the work I can get.
Plan B, if all is lost, is to move in with Brad. On one hand the thought of not having the financial stress of mortgage payments and utilities is a very nice feeling. On the other being dependant on a man, especially one who has ADHD, is a bit hypersensitive and can swing swiftly from anger to tears and everything in between, is going to be difficult.
Whenever I’ve had to depend on a man in my life I have almost always been let down….. and taking that risk again is a bit terrifying to me honestly; especially now with my tribe in tow.
All things considered, I think that overall I’m handling this pandemic in stride. I am so very grateful to Mimi for bringing me all that work in February. We would be in really severe dire straights right now had she not come.
I am so grateful too that I’ve figured out how to get ahead of this virus and that my children are safe. But the stress of all this uncertainty, financially more than anything and the idea of losing my independence is taking a bit of a toll.
It’s ok. I know I just have to handle what’s in front of me right this moment. I just have to breath, try to relax and push ahead one foot at a time. I have no idea what’s on the other side of this. So it does no good to conjecture and I detest worrying.
Gonna try to get a good meditation session in today, maybe some exercise. I have a ton of eBay work to do to in the next few days. Plus a few errands and a Costco run. So busy I am. No time to dilly dally thinking about all of this really.
I’m gonna channel Dory right now and remind myself to just keep swimming. 😉
Hope you all find the strength to keep swimming too.