I abhor it.
Even my kids know that if they do something wrong and then lie about it also there will be much more severe consequences.
Mistakes are one thing. Even lack of thinking things through sometimes is understandable. We all have moments of disregard. But lying is where that line is drawn deep in the sand and creates a gulf I can not and will not accept.
Lying is the absolute worst.
Whether that’s lying to oneself, pretending for want of civility and cohesion, or just downright manipulation. It’s ALL wrong.
I have wished so much in this life to live in a world where people mean what they say and say what they mean.
My only way to fight that is to live it. It is not always easy, but I suppose it is noble. Nobility and honor don’t put food on the table or a 1959 Deville in my garage or even garner much respect in this topsy turvy world. But so be it.
You have to stand for something to make this whole thing count. You really do.
And I like to think I stand for truth. At least my own truth. The version I’m familiar with. Whether that ultimately is the real truth or not is something I don’t quite know yet.
But I like to think it is. Because damage causes by the truth is one of breaking down walls of illusion and distortion. It is not about hurting people.
And even when I do refrain sometimes from telling the truth, for what I deem necessary reasons I refuse to lie; absolutely refuse.
Now you’d think I’d be so happy and grandiose with myself about this. But this resolve (for lack of a better word) has cost me greatly in life because so very often people don’t seem capable of handling or even wanting of the truth, and it has destroyed and fractured relationships.
But I am who I am, for better or worse. And while I may not be able to change the world at least in some regards I haven’t let it change me.
Or maybe, more appropriately, I have taken the lessons learned and made myself better because of them, or in spite of them. Who cares really? The outcome is the same.
I do this because I give a fuck. I give a great big huge fuck about this world and this life and because of that I refuse to lie to any of you; even when it comes back to bite me in the ass, even when doing so would be in my own best interest, even when lying would have been much simpler, even when lying to myself would have made it all better.
No one ever said this life would be easy, but I am trying to find a way to make it worthwhile.
This is my way. This is the way I have found.
May everyone find their own truth!