I seem to be having a lot of discussions about sexuality lately. Primarily because my middle child came out as gay last year. She prefers the term gay to lesbian and while not exactly correct, who am I to tell her what to feel comfortable with?
She’s been anxious to tell everyone and us repeatedly. But after months of this I finally asked her to tone it down. We know! Lol. I finally just sat her down and explained to her my own sexuality.
I told her that while I was (for all intents and purposes) heterosexual, that within that narrow frame there is still a lot of leeway. There is also something called a power exchange. I explained that I prefer to take what is seen as the traditional “male” role and my male partner is generally more of the “female” role in my relationships, especially when it comes to the power dynamic, both sexually and non-sexually. Without question she agreed that this is how I operate, as if she knew all along.
But…. I told her…. while this is near and dear to me and an integral part of who I am, it does not define me. There are millions of other facets to me. This is one I absolutely do love about myself but I do not need anyone’s approval, acceptance or knowledge to do so. I have my own and that’s all I need.
I guess we’ll see how much we have to keep hearing about hers. And even though I keep arguing with her that her community does now own rainbows, that rainbows belong to everyone, I don’t seem to be winning that battle with her. 🙄🤨
It’s like a conversation I was having with Brad recently. Where I affirmed that while we are born with a sex we are not born with a sexuality. And if we were allowed to be whoever we wanted to be in this world sexually and allowed to be fluid within it the world would be a MUCH happier place.
People could be whatever they wanted to be and with whomever they wanted to be sexually whenever they wanted to be so*. this would help resolve so many other issues; including rape, incest, pedophilia, internal rage and abuse of all kinds.
If , let’s say, one could be with a man now, with a woman later, polyamory if they wanted, or married to 4 people, single or any combination possible, people would be so much happier and there would be SO MUCH less deception and frustration. People could have their needs met how they need them, when they need them met. Because every pot has at least one lid. Lol.
Plus there would be a lot less hypocrisy too. Which is something I think we should all strive for. 😉
I think I’ve realized that I don’t tend to see things the way the majority of people do. This is why I don’t seem to agree with much in life. This is why I have always felt so argumentative. This is why I have always been so quiet. Because I have been trying to just get along. But that’s not what I want to do anymore.
I want to speak my truth and I’m happy I get to do that here, at least.
*Morally is another story; as in not lying to anyone. While of course appropriate age, true consent and desire should still play a pivotal role and I personally don’t agree with interspecies because how can one ascertain those. Barring that….