I seem to be having a lot of discussions about sexuality lately. Primarily because my middle child came out as gay last year. She prefers the term gay to lesbian and while not exactly correct, who am I to tell her what to feel comfortable with?

She’s been anxious to tell everyone and us repeatedly. But after months of this I finally asked her to tone it down. We know! Lol. I finally just sat her down and explained to her my own sexuality.

I told her that while I was (for all intents and purposes) heterosexual, that within that narrow frame there is still a lot of leeway. There is also something called a power exchange. I explained that I prefer to take what is seen as the traditional “male” role and my male partner is generally more of the “female” role in my relationships, especially when it comes to the power dynamic, both sexually and non-sexually. Without question she agreed that this is how I operate, as if she knew all along.

But…. I told her…. while this is near and dear to me and an integral part of who I am, it does not define me. There are millions of other facets to me. This is one I absolutely do love about myself but I do not need anyone’s approval, acceptance or knowledge to do so. I have my own and that’s all I need.

I guess we’ll see how much we have to keep hearing about hers. And even though I keep arguing with her that her community does now own rainbows, that rainbows belong to everyone, I don’t seem to be winning that battle with her. πŸ™„πŸ€¨


It’s like a conversation I was having with Brad recently. Where I affirmed that while we are born with a sex we are not born with a sexuality. And if we were allowed to be whoever we wanted to be in this world sexually and allowed to be fluid within it the world would be a MUCH happier place.

People could be whatever they wanted to be and with whomever they wanted to be sexually whenever they wanted to be so*. this would help resolve so many other issues; including rape, incest, pedophilia, internal rage and abuse of all kinds.

If , let’s say, one could be with a man now, with a woman later, polyamory if they wanted, or married to 4 people, single or any combination possible, people would be so much happier and there would be SO MUCH less deception and frustration. People could have their needs met how they need them, when they need them met. Because every pot has at least one lid. Lol.

Plus there would be a lot less hypocrisy too. Which is something I think we should all strive for. πŸ˜‰


I think I’ve realized that I don’t tend to see things the way the majority of people do. This is why I don’t seem to agree with much in life. This is why I have always felt so argumentative. This is why I have always been so quiet. Because I have been trying to just get along. But that’s not what I want to do anymore.

I want to speak my truth and I’m happy I get to do that here, at least.



*Morally is another story; as in not lying to anyone. While of course appropriate age, true consent and desire should still play a pivotal role and I personally don’t agree with interspecies because how can one ascertain those. Barring that….

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

10 thoughts on “Sexuality”

  1. Not only would there be less deception and frustration, but less repressed feelings that end up manifesting themselves in ways that are harmful to oneself and to others. Totally with you in that our sexual preferences don’t define us any more than our favorite sport. I believe our greatest defining attribute is how we make other people around us feel, especially those that love us and that we profess to love. If one feels secure, confident, loved, respected, valued, etc., when people interact with them, then THAT is a sign of a really awesome person – regardless of what their sexual preferences and kinks may be!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a parent, one of the things I realized before I became a parent was that having kids and knowing that one day we’re going to talk about sex and sexuality… and figuring out how to explain it without confusing the living daylights out of them. Sexuality – and heterosexuality in particular – is mandated and insisted upon, no exceptions even though we know that everyone just ain’t straight. So there’s that to explain and why it’s like that but then when you get into the dynamics of it, one problem parents have is deliberately or unintentionally presenting their own view of this and based on their experiences, thoughts, etc.. That’s usually when a parent, when trying to explain bi or homosexuality to their bi or gay child might have a few problems, not because they don’t know what these things are… but because they have no actual experience with it.

    Not that it means it can’t be explained but it’s not all that easy. How should a child deal with the sexual/sexuality dynamic? Good question! We can give them an idea of what we think is the right way to go about all of this but, ultimately, it’s one of those things they’ll have to figure out and “play around” with to find out what works for them and what doesn’t. Two of my children are bisexual and I know the other one “experimented” and I knew that trying to explain it “once” wasn’t going to work and I found myself having some fairly deep conversations about being bisexual… and over and over because the more they learned and experienced, the more questions they had.

    And saying, “I don’t know” was, to me, a scary answer to give because I knew how they might find out and that the “answer” they find might not be a good one. It makes you feel some kind of way to know and understand that a lot of this is stuff they’re gonna have to find out on their own so all you can do is hope they don’t find out the hard way as well as being on standby to assist in any damage control if/when things go south on them.

    My bi daughter is 40-something years old… and every now and then she’ll call me and ask me about being bisexual and at her age – and I expected that before she was even born because I know about being bisexual and it’s not a static kind of thing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow. That’s something.

      It’s interesting that she is still seeking advice on her sexuality, but it is nice she has you to help her. I hope my daughter’s all feel free to speak to me about their lives at all ages, even their sexuality. That would be a nice feeling. Thanks for adding your point of view as a parent and bisexual. πŸ₯°


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