So hard

To not be afraid. Right now. Extra, even a bit excessive caution seems necessary.

Which is why I find it so hard to stay positive and not be afraid. It’s so hard to not feel afraid right now and people handle stress and fear differently. We don’t all have good coping mechanisms. Life can be so hard. Now is a justifiably time to panic. And yet I refuse to do that. I refuse.

Clear, level headed thinking is required and panic does not tend to induce that kind of reasoning. I know that maybe sounds very mechanical when we are very emotional human beings. I am extremely emotional and sensitive but to exercise control of oneself is the ultimate control you will ever get in life. And I strive for that as much as possible, every single day.

Is it odd that during a pandemic I’ve had to buy things in bulk or go without because the price for 1 or the distance to get it was extreme. Like I’m not driving into Portland for a single bar of natural soap and I’m not using dish soap. Not that we really need showers right now but I can’t go without soap and all other soaps irritate my skin. Literally. I got burn marks from a soap at work recently. If that’s not sensitive I’m not sure what is. Lol

But no. I need to stay happy right now; that’s my coping mechanism in life. It’s the only one I know that will keep me, me.

Victory will be had I hope. For all of us in one way or another. I truly wish that from the bottom of my heart.


Gotta pencil in a cry party. It feels really good to cry too sometimes. Not all the time. That’s why you pencil it in. Right? Same day reservations accepted. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‚πŸ˜’

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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