Maybe I’m wrong

But I do love the world so much. It’s fine if we absolutely had to stay inside. But is that possible? Are we set up for that?

Honestly, I would just like the truth. I understand there isn’t really a consensus yet and we’re flying by the seat of our pants. I get that every country seems to be taking this as a vanity PR stunt.

I saw the clip of this Prime Minister Silveria Jacobs gave a pretty compelling speech. This is my take away right now.

The more you are exposed to it the more likely you are to catch it and you do build up antibodies but there are different strains and we still don’t understand this virus completely so we are asking everyone to stay your ass home. No boyfriend visits, no parties, no walking down the block, absolutely nothing that literally isn’t life and death. Because that’s where we are. Let’s try this for two weeks and let’s get practices into place so people don’t die unnecessarily; even more.

Like that great program the police are doing delivering medicine to seniors and immune compromised, to those that may be sick. If they are risking their lives for us to stay home maybe we should be staying our asses at home.

I’m going to cancel all my business again for 2 weeks. It’s been 3 and I have so many high bills, and I hate to do that to people that may be very seriously needing me. People that have lost their jobs/income and need to sell on eBay and don’t know how to. I am not going to feel bad or guilty. But I also have zero fallback.

I don’t qualify for unemployment. I don’t qualify for a SBA loan, I’m pretty sure since I don’t have employees. Maybe proof of income but the businesses barely pay my expenses even then. Which is why I’m in foreclosure. At yay yay. Stoned

My point is……

I’m staying my ass home effective tomorrow. But I do still feel like I need fresh air and sunshine. Some sense that life is ok. Some way to see nature. Isn’t that everyone? Maybe I should listen to those podcasts from astronauts on isolation. In how to get over extreme situation. I’m a bit sick if the life a d death scenarios. I’m tired of being scared.

The truth even if scary is much easier to digest for me than the scary monsters that lies and illusions feel like. Reality, no matter how hard, seems to me so much easier than lies. But what do I know?

I am here in all of this still trying to figure myself out and navigate this world as best I can.

I guess I will take absolute emergency colonics that will legitimately save someone from going to the hospital and even then they better be in good health except for some other issue not COVID-19 related whatsoever. A pre-existing condition only lets say. I doubt and hope to not get work honestly though.

On the plus side; the ex works at a supermarket and is buying our groceries. On the negative side he is taking the girls 2 nights a week to his place. There is a jagged edge there. One I can never seem to get away from in life.

One day!! One day!

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

3 thoughts on “Maybe I’m wrong”

  1. “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” Khalil Gibran
    Do you agree?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love him. Always have. Since I was 16 years old just walking the aisles of the library and chanced on his book of poetry.

      Yes. I do agree. But it shouldn’t take that. If we valued spirituality even one portion of the amount we value money, power, looks, charm, humor, etc. but as a society we don’t seem to give esteem to the things that really matter: honor, dignity, truth, compassion, generosity of spirit, growth as a sentient, soulful being.


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