Feeling a bit anxious

this morning. The traveling doctors extended their stay another week again. But it hasn’t been crazy with phone calls this time. So I’m not sure that many people know or can get appointments. I know they stayed on a special request by the local pastor who had been gone himself and is now back and aware of the doctors being here and wants to be seen himself.

That’s very nice of them. Within their culture there are distinct hierarchies; parents, family, community, etc., but I’m guessing the pastor has to be near the very top.

I went to get my own physical with them yesterday. The equipment they have is pretty cool. More important is knowing not just how to interpret it but what one would do to remedy every issue it informs one of.

Personally I was not surprised by it’s findings: my arteries have some mild buuld up. I’m lacking in sleep, my emotions are on overload, all my vitamins and minerals are low, my kidneys are sensitive, I need to start exercising, I’m due for a digestive cleanse, my eyes are tired and my EMF count was very high, which confirms I’m on my cell phone way too much. lol. A few other minor things.

(My liver, as per usual, was non-issue. After a decade of lab results and doctor’s visits I’ve come to the conclusion that my liver is truly my very good friend. It tells me when I need to slow down. It tells me not to drink alcohol. It reminds me when I haven’t eaten or am extremely dehydrated. It reprimands me when I eat too much sugar or greasy junk food. Unfortunately, all through pangs of pain, but if I listen and nurture myself it bounces back to homeostasis pretty quickly (usually).

I’ve learned what it likes. Epsom salt orally, coffee enemas, castor oil packs with DMSO and some other healing additives, cleanses, on and on. My liver and I are bosom buddies now. I am absolutely certain I would be dead right now if I didn’t have this internal calibration happening that led me to figuring out my bodies needs for myself.)

The doctors insisted on me not paying them. I teared up a little in the car driving out. That was a very sweet and unexpected gesture on their part. I was truly grateful as I know they aren’t exactly cheap. I of course offered them free colonics and I hope they take me up on it, but we shall see. They are awfully busy.

At her clinic she tells me she takes 10 clients a day per equipment. She has 5 employees but works standard 12-16 hour days. I admire that deeply but she also says her parents have raised her son because of this and A) I don’t have that kind of support in my life B) I’m not sure it’s worth that sacrifice C) I don’t think I could maintain my health and mental stability doing that.

We all pick our battles. I’ve worked my ass of building this business up for over 2 years now and I have limited time and energy on this planet and working myself to death is just not my goal. I get that you work hard to then hopefully be able to have a business that is profitable and can run itself without you.

But……….I’m not sure what my future holds and I’m tired of everything being so very hard. So…….I’m just going to keep being of service and letting Divinity decide what I need to do and where I need to go by listening to the signs that tug at my heart and soul. I’ve found that when I do that I have less regrets, in general.

I’ve also decided that who I am right this moment is enough. Sure I could be more, have more, do more; more is always a possibility. But that isn’t reality. Reality is who I am right this moment and that’s enough. If I choose to become more, do more, have more, then that will some other day. But that is not right now. So why concern myself with it?

And to those that I’m not enough for. Too bad!! That’s their issue not mine and I don’t need to be surrounded by people who don’t find me to be enough as I am. Do I? Nope. No I don’t. As much as possible I want to surround myself with people who love and value me exactly as I am. Even if that’s just a party of one. That’s ok. That’s really ok too. Lol

I feel much better now. Phew.


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but itโ€™s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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