I will never understand

I don’t understand the cruelty of this world: war, rape, pillaging/stealing, lying, discrimination, elitism on and on. I just don’t understand the cruelty people harbor in their hearts. And I definitely don’t understand how people so easily rattle off justifications for it all. I don’t understand the blind eyes that get turned or those that uphold and perpetuate it further out of unwavering loyalty, or even worse… to cause more hatred and fear.

These are things I will never understand.

It can be explained to me: charted, plotted, mapped, diagrammed. I get that cruelty begets cruelty. I get that the status quo and group mentality/social pressure is hard to back away from. I can grasp the validations people give, but to me they are still inexcusable. Even though I do get that we are all human and very fallible.

But when will our expectations for ourselves reach a better standard? When will we, if ever, let our heart and souls be our guide and not the blathering talking heads of government, religion, media and those holding power and rank over our lives? None of those people will be there at our death when judgement day comes. And absolutely no amount of lying, justifications, excuses or supplications will change the tide coming for one.

When will we, if ever, learn that compassion, empathy, nurturing, connection to each other on a genuine heart level is the most profoundly rewarding way to live and gives us the true satisfaction we so deeply crave as sentient, communal, soul carrying beings?

I will never understand this world as it is now. But I harbor hope. Eternal hope. And meanwhile I’ll take all the blessings I can wherever they come from and try to keep my eyes, heart and soul open to life’s beauty. I wish you all the same hope, blessings and beauty.


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

2 thoughts on “I will never understand”

  1. My dear, this isn’t just how the world is now – it’s the way it’s always been. These behaviors have been ingrained in us since our appearance as a species and what might have started out as a method of survival has just remained with us and with few signs of us growing out of these negative behaviors. The thing one gets to understand that this is part of the nature of the beast and there’s nothing we can do about it… but we can do something about putting some distance between ourselves and those who exhibit these behaviors as a matter of course and given the population of the world today, it’s almost impossible to completely escape humanity. You just do the best you can not to be “that guy” or “that gal.”

    Many of us have, indeed, learned compassion, empathy, etc., so it’s not that we, on the whole, aren’t following this path – it’s that there are a lot more people who, for whatever reason makes sense to them, aren’t following it, from the antisocial neighbor to world governments. You don’t have to like it but you have to be able to recognize it and, again, do your best to absent yourself from this and try not to get caught up in the madness.

    Because changing the world “for the better” just ain’t gonna happen any time soon. We are changing – have been changing – bit by bit and one person at a time… but change is notoriously slow despite its inevitability. But it’s always going to be people just being people and for better or worse and your own, personal quest to be a better person.

    It just is as it always has been. It our ingrained fear of the other; it’s a mutated survival instinct that says one must survive and by any mean necessary, fair or foul. It’s survival of the fittest and in direct contradiction to the notion that some day, the meek will inherit the earth – but that’s not all that realistic because our nature says that if you act like prey, you will be eaten, that if you are “weak,” well, you’ve pretty much painted a target on yourself and if you really want to see this at work, go watch a nature program where, say, lions are hunting for their next meal.

    Humans are just much more creative apex predators and unless – or until – we become extinct, we will continue to prey upon each other because Rule Number One has always been, “Look after your own ass first” and Rule Number Two is do unto others before they do unto you – because you can bet your ass that they will be trying to do unto you. They say that one should always turn the other cheek… and what that really does is get your other cheek slapped.

    We are the most intelligent and creative animal on the planet… and, yet, we don’t have the good sense to rid ourselves of this destructive behaviors. Sticking your head in the sand will only get you “attacked” and you’ll never see it coming. You can hope for the best… but you always plan for the worst. You can look for the best in someone… and you’re not gonna find it in everyone because that’s just not how people are and have always been. And that, my dear, is what has to be understood more than trying to figure out why we are the way we are – we’re this way because we’ve always been this way and if you think it’s bad now, it was even worse before.

    Why can’t we all be better? Because we can’t – it’s hard-wired into us but even if you can’t see it, we are getting better – it’s just not happening fast enough to make a huge difference right this very moment. And you should understand that while you are doing your level best to be the best person you can be, that’s pretty much all you can do as an individual as well as being able to influence others to be the best they can be.

    Which, at the least and worst, invokes that us versus them thing I know you’re not fond of and if you’re not like us, you’re against us… and you will be dealt with and not in a nice way and as evidenced by the many people who have tried to change the way we are… and every last one of them got dealt with by those who didn’t agree with all this meekness.

    Ya still don’t have to like it and, yes, you can always hope for the best… but if you don’t ever expect the worst, well, that’s a problem and if you don’t look after your own ass, who’s going to – and who’s supposed to? One day, we will be better toward each other – that just ain’t gonna be today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I see your points and they do seem valid but……(lol)

      I don’t want to live covering my ass and just looking out for me and mine.

      I also don’t want to be like the giving tree, in that people seem never to be satisfied. Today I had a client steal face masks from me. πŸ™„

      I also don’t want to live in fear and angst over things I have little control over. Dangers, bad people, bad circumstances seem pretty inevitable. I think I want to completely shift my thinking to just let it all be and give it to higher powers than myself.

      Maybe I’m just really tired. But…..I see what you mean. Hard to not create me vs them scenarios in life. I definitely am tired of being “caught in the madness” as you say.

      There just has got to be a better way, not specifically for society because as much hope as I have like you said I can’t see it happening all that quickly either. But I guess in my own way I am looking out for myself, just trying to find my own sanity and inner peace and security.


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