I used to think my love could get my partners to change, grow, become the men I needed them to be. I used to think that they would get there because they chose me over whatever issue they had; alcohol, drug addiction, on and on. I felt because I understood their pain and was accepting of them, we could make it work.
Maybe that all can be true. But I just don’t want to work that hard anymore. I’m not into it. I don’t need projects. I don’t need to host pity parties or listen to excuses or be someone’s muse or savior. I just need someone to love, that will love me fiercely back, that fits into my life and I fit into theirs.
Someone that understands me and someone I can respect and understand back. Which is all more difficult than than it sounds, unfortunately.
Brad keeps saying he wants to marry me. But without plans and a ring I really don’t have to take a stance on the matter. I can just let things be what they are. Much less stressful than trying to figure out a life together, when we can’t even talk about simple things like the Coronavirus without a heated argument. 🙄🤣🤷🏽♀️
Today I created two sigils. I actually really enjoyed the process. I don’t consider myself an artistic person but I enjoyed the freedom of it and the very personal symbolism behind them. I also love that it is meant to activate the subconscious mind.
But enough for now. Off to sleep. I’m exhausted.
Sweet dreams world.