When this is all over I am treating myself to a massage. I’m thinking of maybe going to those places where they scrub you down first. Taking off a later of dead skin. That probably feels really good. I wish I could go to a natural hot spring spa. That would be so rejuvenating. But I’m not sure if all that is in my budget.
8 more days!!! The simple 8 hour shift with Jill next Saturday will cap off this experience. It’s really my own fault that my days are so long. I’m not sure any other therapist allots 2 hours per client. It’s not efficient at all. It creates lag time between clients, but it gives me the space to be really present and calm with each session as opposed to frenzied and worrying about time constraints. I’ve made a few exceptions these last weeks but I always regret it. Lol
I really only like to take up to 4 clients a day with a slot open for emergencies. That’s perfect. It’s an 8 hour day. Today is a 12 hour day. Which means I won’t see my kids for more than 10 minutes between clients or at 10pm when I’m done.
I also have two eBay clients on hold right now and this is with me only taking high value items. I’m grateful but mostly I’m glad this breakneck speed is ending soon. I realized yesterday that I’m much more tired than I thought I was.
Pot always makes me more aware of the subtleties in my life and the things I push down to keep going. It brings them to the surface and I find that an invaluable blessing. Because those things need and want to be acknowledged and disregarding them leads to much more dire circumstances.
Once my life settles down completely I want to focus more on my spiritual practices. Whether that be finding a mentor, reading more books, having more hands on experiences or all of the the above.
I’m free right now to be exactly who I want to be. I am not beholden to anyone, besides the responsibility of caretaking my children. And that is a wide expanse I want to keep exploring. I have a lot to still learn about myself; what I am capable of, who I can still be, what I can give to the world. The possibilities are truly titillating.