Maybe I’m being a Debbie downer. Maybe working with all these married couples these last few weeks has warped my sense of it. But I can’t see myself getting married again anymore.
I think I am both far too accommodating and far too stubborn of a person for it. I want more than anything to have a nice, calm, content life and if that means stifling myself in a relationship to achieve that then that’s what I tend to do. But being that accommodating has its many draw backs. People see it as weakness or lack of caring, when really I just prefer not to argue over every little nuance of life.
And while being a single mom has its many difficulties the one stand alone thing I treasure is being able to navigate my life however I choose to and I can’t see giving that up to be under someone’s thumb again; whether that be financially, emotionally or physically. I just don’t want that and being so giving and easy going has more often than not put me in those positions in relationships and no, just no.
Plus…. this too…
Well.. who knows. Right now I feel I’m better off on my own.
But, I’m too tired to think about it more tonight, not that it matters right now anyways.