My throat has been hoarse for a few days; nothing serious or painful, just unusual. I realized it’s probably because I’ve talked more in this last week then I have all this year (which granted is only a month and a half but still). It’s funny. I know I’m a quiet person, but that surprises even me. It’s fine. I don’t feel put out or bothered by it at all. It just isn’t my norm.
I was thinking today that even if I had all the answers to life. Even if I knew definitively what could save this planet and all the souls of all the humans on it; so what? And I say this strictly in a comical sense. People have free will and a lot of people prefer the life of hard knocks trying out their own solutions then just following others. This stance I understand because it is one I hold myself, sometimes unfortunately. Lol
Plus, ultimately, who am I? And why do I care? Not to say I don’t care but I have enough difficulties in life trying to get my kids to do what I tell them to. I have enough troubles trying to stear my clients towards better choices. And add to this that I am still navigating my own choices and trajectory, doing all I can to stay uplifted within my own world.
I do think I have a pretty clear view of things but I also feel it’s because I’m willing to listen, deeply listen to others and what life teaches and shows me. Can I impart this wisdom? Can I share what I know? I would absolutely love to. Truly I would and it’s what I try to do here. It’s what I try to do in my business every single day.
I would love to do speeches. I really would actually. But I think I first need a book under my belt to do that. Maybe? Then I also feel I need to be at a more centered place in my own life and not mixed in the chaos of everything that is in turmoil around me. Feeling like I am stuck in a vortex of so many difficult circumstances I can’t seem to extricate myself from.
In order to be authentic in my wisdom I feel like I need to get to the other side of this mountain of pain and hardship. But I am still climbing it; still trying to conquer not just it but myself too.
And also, let’s go back to the theme. While I love discourse, I’m not someone that lives to hear the sound of my own voice. I’m not someone that needs to be center of attention, lead every conversation and feel like the absolute authority on anything. I’m happy just being me, knowing what I know and listening more than talking.
Well….. I spose I better stock up on lemon and honey for the rest of this month because I’ve noted most people don’t enjoy silence as much as I do and I can’t see my vocal needs going down. Which is fine. It’s funny to me really. I enjoy so much some of the ways life likes to throw me out of my comfort zone and challenge me. Bring it! Bring it on! I’m game. I mean…… why not?
I’ve got no clear sense of where this life is going yet still and it’s been now 46, soon to be 47 years but that’s fine with me. I got lots of sprite left in me yet to follow where life wants me to be. Let’s go! But wait, hold on, let me get my tea first.