Carcinoma nervosa

Cancer seems to be a high fear for people. Maybe because it’s so prevalent. Maybe because it can’t always be seen or felt or caught early enough. Maybe because we almost all know many people who have suffered and died from it.

I’m not immune to those fears. I’ve already had precancerous cells taken off of my body. I’ve been complaining about my breast hurting lately but it’s not really a new complaint. So I didn’t take it all that serious. Not to say I disregarded it either. Especially when it turned from being a tenderness/pain in both breasts that seemed to fluctuate with hormones to a more centralized pain in one breast side that didn’t seem to be hormone induced.

So I asked for a referral for an ultrasound and I’m going to pay out of pocket for thermal imaging. I absolutely do not want a mammogram. Even though I found what looks to me like it could potentially be a carcinoma type lesion on the same breast side that has been bothering me.

It could be and hopefully is nothing. I put DMSO and hydrogen peroxide on it yesterday and watched it bubble and fizz for like 10 minutes. That was fun. Actually. Really. But I enjoy odd things.

I’m not going to tell anyone. Not because I’m trying to be a martyr but I don’t see the point. No need to worry anyone and I always find the more I talk about things the more anxious I get, not less. I can put it in the “don’t worry about it” file fairly easily. But when I have to bring it out and dissect it with people it feels like they are wanting to move my folder into the “let’s worry about this” file and it is disquieting, to say the least.

Plus I don’t need anecdotes, stories, suggestions, or any feedback right now. I just need positive energy around me and that’s what I intend to do for myself. Be my own positive energy flow. After all this could be absolutely nothing and if it isn’t, it isn’t. Deal with that when and if I get there.

For now, today I am going to start the hydrogen peroxide protocol and also exclusive juicing and fruit/vegetable eating only. I’ll try this for a week and reevaluate after. I’ll also make those appointments and go see the naturopath when the results come in. Just gonna keep going forward.

It snowed a little this morning, so beautiful. I had been thinking about this all night and all this morning but now writing it down I feel a lot of peace surrounding this. It’s always amazed me how much writing down my thoughts and feelings helps unburden me. Truly amazing.

So please, no comments on this post. If you feel inclined you can send me a hug. Just put your arms out and send me your warm loving embrace. I’ll feel it, from your space in time in this universe to my little heart.

My God, Divinity, the expanse of all that is, ever was and ever could be bless us all.

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Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol