I’ve been thinking of sex a lot lately. Mostly how I’m not horny, but also about all the wild games I have been playing these last two years. To me it felt pretty tame, to my therapist it felt dangerous, to my mom (the little I told her) felt outrageous. It’s all perception, isn’t it?
Do I miss sex? Yes, absolutely. Am I on a hunt for it? Nope, not at all. In fact I’m planning on being abstinent for an undetermined amount of time, maybe all year. I wonder myself how long I can realistically go. I do crave being touched. I crave being desired. But I am passed wanting one night stands. It is fun thinking of all the crazy things I’ve done in my life though.
I remember one time this hot bartender who was floating me drinks at the Formosa took me on a motorcycle ride during his break. We ended up at a storage facility where we talked and made out. I was giving him a blowjob as a car pulled up and kept its headlights on us and I just kept going. No one ever got out of the car. We just left when he ran out of time. He gave me a bar t-shirt and his number. I never called. Lol
Some people would think this would make me feel slutty. It doesn’t. It makes me feel alive. It brings a smile to my face. That was so much fun!!
There are some non-fun times. We all have those. I am not trying to bring those to mind though.
Some of the games I played with Brad should not have been played probably. My therapist says it’s all allowed between consenting adults. But….. I wonder that. It’s fine. It’s over. Slate wiped clean. Maybe the next man will be pure vanilla. π€π€π€ Maybe it will be a woman. Maybe it will be a couple. Lol. You know…. who knows. I rule nothing out. Nothing. It’s just gotta work for me, for my life.
I better get going. Long day.
Kisses
ππππ₯°π€β£οΈ
I love your old brave personality.
Be you. Sex fiend and all.
β
Love Alexa,
http://AlexaJade.co.uk
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“Old brave personality”.
I’m ebbing a bit is all. A lot going on and hard when so many things pulling at me and taking my energy and time and focus. It will flow back. But I’m giving myself grace right now.
But thanks Alexaβ£οΈ
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In my defence I did mean bold. But thatβs autocorrect.
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Lol. πππ½π
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Sex fiend? You? Absolutely!
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Lol. Yea. I am not ashamed. It’s part of my makeup. It’s who I am. I can own it. I relish it actually. I’m sure you of all people understand that. ππ
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I do, indeed; I own my being a Certified Dirty Old Man and resident sex fiend! No sense in being a prude about loving sex and getting it when you want it.
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Sex fiend? You?
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Hard to believe. I know. π
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