It was my own doing. Kind of. Things have been going so well and I bring up making love. Sound the alarms. Ring up the station. It’s going down. Wooooo, wooooooo.
Ugghhh. Don’t ask me how we got here.
But picture 6 hours of this. The last hour being a full on punch out, duel. Exhausting. But we managed to get out of it. Maybe because even though the idiot sent me this pathetic attempt of an excuse I knew where his heart was. And I figured we would work it out once he calmed his jets a bit. I gave him time and left him on read while I worked things out for myself. Sometimes, as in this case, it makes it worse. Lol. The joys of “relationshipping”, like “adulting” but doesn’t sound quite as cool. Won’t stick I’m sure. 🤣
I’m trying to stay up until 12:12 and say a prayer. The full moon and I go way back. I have a special draw to her. Mystic magical dancing mayhem, that’s a thing…right?
My life feels like a whirling dervish dance and I’m waiting for the soft ballad. Don’t get me wrong though… I love both. But this girl needs a little time to catch her breath.
🙏🏽❣️💋🌕
I am sticking with natural tendencies – when there is a good match. If the match is not good, then emotion and presence cannot turn it to feeling natural. Or fun.
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I’m not so sure about that. Some of the best sex I’ve had was with a guy who I could not formulate a conversation with. It was a huge disconnect on every other level except sexually. But boy was that fun.
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But that one aspect of the relationship was very natural …
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Tis true. Hardly calling it a relationship though. Lol
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“Simplify” is what jumped off the screen at me. Simple is so much more fun than complex. Adding steps (like texting???) to something pleasurable only wastes energy (2nd Law of Thermodynamics applied to a relationship) and causes the natural tendencies (great sex) to degenerate.
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That’s heady. I’m going to have to ruminate on that. I’ll get back to you. 😉💋
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Not all of my comments are heady. Now you have me thinking of head. See …
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Lol🤤💋
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Found this excerpt:
Although existentially intangible and metaphysical, a relationship is an entity that obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e., a relationship is a real thing that, if left unattended, will decay. Work in the form of love is required to stave off the ravages of the natural processes of erosion that will inevitably occur over time. One difference between the physical universe and the metaphysical entity of intimacy is that the work done to maintain the relationship must be mutual between partners.
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Nice research … bet you were awesome to study with in school …
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I was. For biology a group of young boys wanted to study with me. I had them singing and using tricks to remember the cell parts. We all aced the test.
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Yes, studying biology with a girl that would eventually be known as “Porn Girl” would have kept my attention on the subject …
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Lol
I think they were initially incentivized by something besides my brain but they underestimated my determination to succeed and my bosy ways.
They were very docile. I probably could have done whatever I wanted with them. Opportunity missed maybe. Lol
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I suspect you learned not to miss many later opportunities.
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Lol. Not really.
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Life is about continuously learning.
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Should be. Could be. Not true for everyone though.
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Texting is very pleasurable to me. Especially if I am going to need to be away from my paramore for an extended period. I need the contact.
Applying thermodynamics to a relationship is interesting. Suppose one could make that extrapolation.
Natural tendencies? Great sex does not seem like a natural tendency to me. It takes energy and desire. And making love requires even more emotion and presence. And we definitely don’t want that to deteriorate, EVER!!! 🤣🤣🤣
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Six hours? Life should be easier …
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That would be splendid. Wouldn’t it? I’d love less complications in my life.
I am so done with the make up, break up yo-yo thing we have going on. I thought we were past that all. Naive an wishful, I guess.
Right now my entire life feels really hard in so many aspects. And I don’t need a complicated relationship added to the mix. I really don’t. I don’t know how many more times I can keep talking him off the ledge.
I am trying to get him to understand that I am very clear about my expectations, needs and desires. This is to simplify his life and bring us closer together, not to attack him or make him feel less than. I am demanding because I know what I want. I think I’ve explained this to him for the last time last night. I can’t keep fighting for a relationship if he can’t have faith in it. If he can’t see that we can come to solutions together that work for both of us.
This making love thing is a fun endeavor. I’m not asking him to lay in a box of spiders for 3 hours to prove his love. I’m asking him to make a priority something I feel strongly about and if he can’t or won’t do that, then clearly this relationship isn’t something he really wants.
The beauty of a relationship is walking through life together; loving, supporting, caring, expressing and showing up for your person because you love and need them and then doing the same for you. It’s not perfect. How could it be? But the game is not against each other but with and for each other and if he can’t get in board then there isn’t anything to fight for really.
Know what I mean?
This isn’t where I want to be after 1.5 years with someone. I told him yesterday, I’ve thrown men off the bus for much less than he has subjected me to in this time. So obviously there is something in him I see worth the trouble and effort.
But at some point this has to stabilize itself. I’m not a teenager. I don’t need the drama in my life. We shall see……seems to be the mantra of 2019. I’m so glad this year is almost over. 🙄🙄🙄
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