What do I want?

Why is that a difficult question? If anyone should know, shouldn’t it be me? I need a list. Not a to do list. God knows I have enough of those. I need a what I want list. A what would make me happy list.

The issue is that my desires are disjointed and fluctuate quite a bit. Some even negate each other. But I think for my own reference I should have some idea of what I truly, deeply desire in life; realistic or not. So let’s see.

Immediate desires

  • To feel centered within; always
  • Join a gym
  • Develop healthier routines
  • Get my daughter’s health issues under control and her back in school

1 year

  • Save my house
  • Build my business
  • Be in a healthy, happy relationship
  • Get the teenager set up for her next chapter

5 year

  • Get married again
  • Have freedom to travel
  • Be financially solvent
  • Publish a few books
  • Have my own garden (medicinal and cooking)
  • Complete a half marathon

20 years

  • Retire
  • See the world
  • Live debt free and minimalist
  • Watch grandbabies grow up

Do these all sound a bit boring and simplistic to you too? Okay. Now let’s get wild and crazy!!!

Immediate desire

  • Actualize my energy healing potential exponentially
  • Train a sub to be my perfect pet
  • Get started on my sexual bucket list*

1 year

  • Become a tantric sex expert
  • Be part a close group of extraordinary friends

5 year

  • Create my own religion
  • Open the ultimate BDSM adult playground
  • Start a health clinic based around water therapies and holistic healing
  • Open a school
  • Own a restaurant

20 years

  • Save the world


*Sexual bucket list

  • Squirt
  • Fmm threesome with all orifices filled and all parties in full participation
  • Double Penetration
  • Keep a sub in chastity with key
  • Train a female sub
  • Enjoy having a slave
  • Orgy
  • Have sex on E.
  • Do all the positions in the Kama Sutra
  • Have sex on every continent
  • Join the mile high club
  • Have sex on a train
  • Make love with people watching
  • Make a man cry from pain

Who knows if I will do any of these, honestly. It’s fun to imagine it all though. πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

11 thoughts on “What do I want?”

  1. Create your own religion! I love those 5 year desire lists. I really think you can do some of them….

    They all sound doable actually, well the first list does. And having a list, more like knowing what you want in your head, makes it possible to get there. Makes it doable. Also because I sorta believe in a what you’re ready for comes to you, so when you’re open to the possibility and know what you want you’re more likely to get it. To feel centred within, always, is more of a long term desire though, but yeah. Your daughter is lucky to have you…. when you open your centres, can I help you with it! I can’t remember what else I was gonna say πŸ™‚

    Love, light and glitter

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll take all the help I can get. I’ve realized I close myself off to much to help, especially asking for it. That has to change. We are communal for a reason. We need each other. And where one person needs help another person can benefit from helping. It’s just not something we understand clearly in society. Yet

      Thank you. I have a love/hate thing with religion so I mean something to live by that speaks to people but isn’t so black and white and exclusionary. Something that can bring people together no matter what background, religious beliefs, sex, gender, color, what have you. A movement centered on love. Which is what religion should be but often isn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If you create your own religion it wouldn’t really end up that way. Because as with every religion, those are the tenets, they’re meant to be based around love and connection to the source and each other because we’re all a part of the same source. So you have the people who believe and follow that in every religion, and then you have the people who take it to an extreme and will turn it into a cult and exclusionary or missionary style. But hey, you never know, maybe you’ll pull it off πŸ™‚

        It’s hard to ask for help.

        Love, light and glitter

        Liked by 1 person

        1. The scourge of religion goes all the way to the top. I get that we are all human, fallible, ego driven creatures. But when the leaders themselves perpetuate evil: warfare, pillaging, killing, the destructions of entire civilizations and history. I take great offense that this happens under the cover of “God’s plan”. It is the highest blasphemy.

          Religions, governments and now corporations are coming for all of our rights and money. The trifecta of taking over the world, run by megalomaniac lunatics.

          I feel that all I can do, as a single solitary person, to counter this atrocity is to promote love and live by example and show people how to find peace within themselves in a world that seems to value anything but the truth. A world that values things that have absolutely no real merit to our souls existence, to our real life experience. Things that offer no real sustenance and meaning.

          I say religion very loosely when I say that because it isn’t about structures, rules or edicts. It’s about connection to our one soul. It’s about authenticity to oneself and leading our lives with our hearts first.

          It’s the simplest, hardest thing one can do. But it is where the real fulfilment in life comes from. The myths perpetuated by fools, thinking they are winning at something they are actually killing themselves with.

          The irony of it all leaves me shaking my head really.

          Liked by 1 person

        1. Kind of not really.

          Had sex in a National park in broad daylight on a rock doggy style. Someone was walking around but didn’t make it obvious.

          Had a few girls chance upon my boyfriend fingering me in a car.

          When I was single I always kept my blinds open but didn’t know if people were watching. My neighbors most certainly could of they wanted to.

          Then this last time at the sex club when I had sex with Brad and inadvertently left the blinds open. Someone was there but I didn’t know until we switched positions. Once I noticed they left and I closed them.

          So I’ve technically never purposefully had an audience. If that makes sense. Although I’m sure these aren’t the only times these things have occurred.

          I want to do it purposefully is all. Maybe.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s