These things are not mutually exclusive to me. While a lot of religions separate the two I find great power in combining them. Which is why I want to find someone I can have tantric sex with. Which is why I am so desperate to make love again.
I was talking to Paul about how I get very depleted sometimes doing energy work and have had some rather debilitating experiences, which have put me off practicing it as much as I would like to.
He asked me “ok, what gives you the most energy?”. Which was a question I wasn’t expecting. It didn’t take me long to blurt out “sex”. He chuckled “what else?”. “Exercise” I said. “What else?” he pressed on. “Dancing and/or going to the sex club” I said.
He seemed satisfied with that or maybe it was too close to the first answer, but he then said. “Ok, do those things as often as you can and make sure you always have a surplus of energy”. Makes sense.
I guess it’s a good thing I am so sensitive to energy. It makes me aware of things on a level most people don’t seem conscious of. So I know (within myself) that even when it manifests as pain, tiredness, weakness or what have you that it is actually a spiritual energy depletion, manifesting in physical form. Because I understand myself pretty well. Because I see how the energy works and feels within my own body.
Would that I could have sex every day? Absolutely!!! Would that I could have sex multiple times a day would I? Dumb question. Lol.
But my life is not set up for that. And it’s not about my persona or image. I really don’t care what people think of me. It’s about time and life’s insipid responsibilities. All the things I have to do, which I do, mostly without complaint, but would rather not have to do. Things that take precedence over things I would prefer to be doing.
I almost considered being a sex therapist. As in having sex with people for actual legitimate health reasons, legally. I couldn’t figure out the training and licensing on that, and how to get referrals. Since it needs to actually be scripted out to be legal, I believe. But that seems like something I would really enjoy. Not that all sex therapy even involves sex. Some people just need to learn to be comfortable naked. Some people need to learn how to enjoy their own bodies. Some people just need to understand what sexual intimacy feels like.* If anything though, I think women need sex therapy much more than men probably do.
Personally, I can not separate my sexuality from my spirituality, nor do I want to. I am a sexual being and I am a spiritual being. I derive power from both and they are a truly out of this world combined. Not that they aren’t pretty spectacular on their own too.
*Seeing how difficult it’s been to try and teach Brad to make love has me second guessing this though. But he isn’t paying me to teach him. He also seems to have almost zero incentive with it, even though I’ve badgered him about it multiple times. Irritates me endlessly!😡