Pondering an interesting dichotomy

I’ve been really sitting with this whole humility thing lately.

While I inherently understand that we are all equal. We all have plusses and minuses. We all bring something to the table of life. We all have a reason to be here, a lesson to learn, a story to tell. While I have always held that tenant true in my heart and tried to never look down or up to anyone because of it. Knowing I have something to learn and glean from everything and everyone.

I have really come to a place in my life where I feel I want and need to give myself permission to shine. I need to let the full expression of my being have her place at the head of my own table. I’m just at the point where I don’t care who or what is expected of me anymore. I just want to let me be fully myself. Not some water-downed, homogenized, safe for TV, suitable for all audiences version that is more palatable and suitable for proper society.

This endeavor has me struggling a bit though; feeling like I am straddling the line between being humble and servile or being self-aggrandizing bordering on bitchy. But I suppose those are simply the two extremes, to which I don’t need to cling to either but rather can give myself permission to navigate freely between whenever I choose, given whatever is present in the now.

The thing is; I want to not just be authenticaly myself…. I want to be my full blown, entire, 100% potency self and I want to give that girl permission to sparkle brightly. Realizing that I don’t need to be anything more than I am right this moment. I don’t need to be anyone more than the being I was put here to be. And I can help her flourish with true self-acceptance and deep gratitude for the experience of just being alive.

There is no waiting for anything or anyone. There just isn’t! Because all I need for this endeavor I was already given. So…..

the time has come…..to start…

because there is no better time than the here and now.


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

4 thoughts on “Pondering an interesting dichotomy”

    1. I am. Just a very subtle one. It’s not about being a bitch to me though. It’s about standing up for myself and going after what I want in life regardless of other people’s opinions and feeling.

      Liked by 1 person

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