I decided, because I love grandiose decision making, that today was going to be the last day I let myself think about Brad. Not that I am going to forget he exists or existed in my life but I’m going to stop letting it take up real estate in my head.
Starting tomorrow morning whenever he comes to mind for whatever reason, I’m just going to redirect myself and imagine what my next love will feel like. Become I’m done with this.β¬οΈ
And feeling this way.
So it’s time to focus on new horizons. I know my mind will revert back to thinking of the past, because unfortunately us humans have an amazing natural talent for dwelling on things. But I refuse to let this thing take up any more of my time and energy.
I’m not trying to be cruel or heartless. There are plenty of great memories and happy moments we shared, but it’s over, he’s gone, we are moving on… not just on paper, but in my heart and mind. It’s time to let it all go. Why I’m making it so official is just how I roll. Makes things more formal and feel really like an executive order or proclamation.
Now of course I know I had my own share of mistakes here, but I have no excuses and I would probably do it all exactly the same. I’m sure he sees things differently. But whatever. Officially today, this story is being finalized. Marked. Sealed. Filed. Goodbye.
I’m hoping for great things. Brad said I would never find someone to love me as much as he does/did, whatever. Seems a fairly cruel thing to say but more importantly I refuse to believe it. Absolutely refuse to. As far as my life goes, I truly feeling like it’s only just beginning again.
But this time it’s all different. This time I’m not so scared. I’m wiser, bolder, happier, clearer, confident, savy, calm and centered, feeling like I can maybe really have it all. At least within myself.
And one day maybe I’ll find someone who truly appreciates me for the whole package. Someone I can deeply love for who they truly are as well. And if not at least I’m at a place where I can finally say I can give that to myself and feel (mostly) really satisfied with that. Lol π
Night night π€β£οΈπ₯°π€
Yes to all of this! Good for you pg. I wish you health and happiness in your new chapter. Xo
And I had to read something like this right now. So thanks for writing it.
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Thanksβ£οΈ
I’m glad if it helped at all and resonated. That’s the best gift for a writer. Right? π€
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It certainly is π
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Not a nice thing for Brad to say to you. β€π
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Hey Jack,
Yea. He could say some cruel things when he got angry. That was just one of the last things he said to me. Age definitely has nothing to do with maturity. ππ€·π½ββοΈ
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