I want to have fun

I woke up today with the mindset that I am done.

I am done struggling. I am done worrying. I am done stressing out over this life. I’m not fighting the tide anymore. I’m not out to prove anything to anyone, not even myself.

I want to be here, present for the beauty in life. I want to find the pleasure and fun in each moment.

Whatever that means. However that comes. So be it.

I’m not trying to lose myself to debauchery or denial. Rather I’m trying to find a way not to survive this life because let’s face it that’s not possible, but to enjoy it.

Yes, I’m caught in this worlds tumultuous battle of good and evil. For some reason I chose or was meant to be here. Whichever it is is no matter really. I have made my imprint. I exist. I’m done working so hard for it. I’m done suffering through it all. I’m done playing these stupid games by these stupid rules I never agreed to in the first place, to support a system that fails so many all over the world and even here in my own backyard.

I have my own moral compass and more importantly I have my heart and soul to guide me. I’m good with those. I trust them more than I trust most anything else. So I’m done putting credence onto anything else. I’m ready to see the beauty in life. I’m ready to let the misery go.

Not to say there won’t be drudgery and work along the way. But I’m going to make it my life’s mission to make every moment as fun as possible. To extract the most joy I can from whatever time I have left here.

I’m done participating in this war being waged. It was started before me and will be going on long after me. Whatever that means. However that plays out. I’m tired of trying to hold on to things that maybe weren’t meant to be held on to. I’m loosening my tight grip and letting myself float with the tide.

I’ll still do what I need to do. We all need to do something. I am not talking about giving up. I’m talking about no longer playing along to the march of the dying. No longer paying tribute to the fear mongering. No longer caring about all these stupid, superficial falsities that are supposed to mark success and happiness to standards I never agreed to or accept.

I don’t want to listen to the lies of what this life is suppose to be, of how I am supposed to live it. I’ve got this. Even if I’m wrong, I’m right. Because it’s my life and whatever it is I’m meant to do here I’m going to consider it officially done. I know who I am. That’s really more than good enough for me. This world may never stop being crazy but I’m done trying to keep up with it’s madness.

I just want to be open to the fun of it all. It’s there or rather here…all around us. I personally have just been to busy playing all these stupid games to remember it’s a game. It truly all is. So now I just want to enjoy it.

I’m ready to smile. My heart and soul are ready to come out and play.

Let’s do this.

Let the fun begin.


Quite not coincidentally my good friend Danica sent me this just a few minutes ago. Lol❣️

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

3 thoughts on “I want to have fun”

  1. Hell yeah! I’ve come to the same conclusion. Live your life to make you happy. Fuck everyone else and what they perceive. That’s their life and their circumstances. That’s their story to live.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pretty much. I’m happy with me. I k ow my heart. I know my soul. I’m ow my intentions. I only need to stand guard for myself and my children to some extent. And that’s it. Simple. Easy. Fun!!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. What I mean by stand guard is watch my own morality. Like the story of the traveling monk. One of my favorites.

      He was a sage and wise traveling monk and everyone loved him and he was welcome to many people’s houses. He was at one said house for dinner and as his host prepared the meal he was left alone in a room full of antiquities and artifacts. He found one piece he was drawn to deeply and suddenly he screams “thief, thief come quickly”. His host came and saw no one but him and they asked where the thief was and he said “it would have been I, so I needed your help to stop me”.

      Probably just an allegory, but I love it none the less. We must all stand guard against the corruption of our own soul and that’s all we can truly do for certain and that seems enough work. The rest should be play. πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

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