Sub vs Dom/me

I had a really neat client today. Somehow we got on the subject of Sub vs Dom. It got me thinking. Maybe next year I find myself both a sub and a dominant. Keep them separate since it’s so hard to compartamentalize those things. I love switching, literally I do, but I can see why it gets confusing.


That’s a whole two months away so who knows by then. Plus then it’s a matter of finding them. Although I actually think it will be much simpler finding 2 men to be very much who they think they are vs finding a true switch; i.e. someone who is genuinely good and passionate about both and can be fluid with it. It seems like a lot to ask.

But this got me to also thinking about how there can be Dominants in many facets of a relationship; not just sexually. Right? Intellectually, physically, verbally, emotionally, financially, and so on. I don’t know that it matters as much to have a balance of dominance vs submissive characteristics when it comes to the capacities outside of sex. I don’t think being incompatible would be too detrimental but then again……maybe so.

This all begets more thinking, but not today me thinks. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

12 thoughts on “Sub vs Dom/me”

  1. Utmost concern for the submissive. Maybe too much sometimes.

    I enjoy both soooo much.

    Now….. question for clarification. Were you trying to say you don’t think I’m a good Dominant? I’m curious if so what you have that opinion. I couldn’t tell from the message if you meant me or just in general.

    But as I said in general I do agree with you.


  2. Dom Vs Sub,

    It’s easy being a dominant. Not saying it makes you a good one.

    Being a sub is the hard part. Some people say it’s natural to be a sub. But really is it? We, subs are asked to do thing against our will. If your willing to do it. You are really a sub as I understand it. Sure there are things you like and wish to have done. But as a whole. Just a thought.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. It is not easy being a good submissive or a good dominant. People think they are one or the other but what people really seem to be is just selfish. Dominants want what they want and they like to be in power. Submissives want what they want and they just want someone to give it to them. True submission and true dominance require so much more than just figuring out how to get the other person to do what you want them to. There are so many subtleties and nuances.

      True submission is a beauty unlike most anything I’ve known. As I see it they are both gifts of love and not just tools of sexuality as most people use them for gratification and narcissism. That’s my rant for today.

      I love both so much. Both such different parts of the spectrum.


    2. I think what happens behind closed doors is much different than how people present. Personally I think I’m a great dominant.

      If anything most men want me to be more dominant than I am because I’m so good at it. I’ve had men very experienced in the lifestyle tell me I’m the best they’ve seen/experienced.

      I can’t say. I don’t have enough experience. I just know I enjoy it tremendously and it comes very naturally to me and I do it with the utmost con


  3. I always have enough money to go wherever I wish, and to do almost anything I would like to. Perhaps I could take a vacation to near where you are ~ but alas I don’t even know where you are right now. Tell me if you wish. ❀❀❀


    1. Portland Oregon.

      It’s strange because I tend to avoid men. I have the opportunity to date many men here and yet I don’t. So it’s strange that I am inviting you here.

      I’ve put a stop gate on all men here by forcing them to pay for my company exclusively. Which none have taken me up on and suits me fine. Such an oddity I can be. Lol


    1. Very exciting indeed. BDSM can add so much value to one’s life and fulfill so many different needs. It can be so very satisfying. Truly. I’m so glad I found it and opened up that aspect of my life. I have been deeply satiated by it and it goes beyond just the sexual aspect.

      I was thinking last night about a fabulous lover I had in my 20’s. That was not making love as much as something closer to tantric sex probably. When we were having sex it was sublime. Our connection was unmistakable. But outside of sex we could barely muster up a conversation.

      So maybe I need 3 lovers. I do so love the number 3 anyway. Lol. One for dominance, one for submission N
      and one for making love. Theoretically sounds great but where will I find the time. Lol. If only I could be so blessed to either find all in one person or find one person I would be absolutely content to be with in whatever sexuality they present.

      They say the more sexual partners you have the more dissatisfied you will find your sex life with one person to be but I’ve never found that to be true. Lol. So here’s to grand adventures to come. πŸ€ͺπŸ₯°β£οΈ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Knowing the cards Life is dealing me at the moment, I am guessing that you are a hell of a long way from my home in England. But then geography should never be a barrier between friends and lovers.. n any event, I can enjoy chatting with you online. ❀ ❀

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I do as well.

          I unfortunately do not have funds to travel right now. But if you ever find yourself here or……

          I’ve just been invited to India from a potential suitor. I am thrilled. I do so love to travel. Well. Not so much the travel part but I love to experience new cultures and places and people. I don’t know that this will come to fruition, but it sure does add joy to my life just thinking of the possibilities. One never knows where life will take one. That’s the fun of it. πŸ’‹πŸ₯°β£οΈ


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