Stop fooling yourselves or just because you can doesn’t mean you should

My dad married a woman younger than me. A pretty woman which when they met was a Hawaiian dance instructor. It really devastated me quite a bit and set my self esteem down a few notches when that happened. It was one of the many causes for me to start seeing a psychologist professionally…. actually.

He asked me about it one day and I asked him how he’d feel if I went out with a man his age, but that was the wrong question. I should have asked him how she would react if I married a man far my junior, who was incredibly handsome and had a nice income. What example would I be setting for her? How would that make you feel?

The unfortunate truth is that this isn’t the norm. Not the dating young men part but the financial freedom part. Wealth is very disproportionate on this planet. He has to know that if she were independently wealthy the chances of them being together would be virtually non-existent.

This has been on my mind with the rash of men marrying women less than their granddaughters age. It’s not necessarily wrong, it’s just creepy. Really. A bit. Gotta say.

It reminds me of this surgeon I once dated. He told me that it must be his personality or something he couldn’t pin down why 90% of the women he dated slept with him on the first date (I was in the 10%).

I laughed a bit too hard when he said that and then I said ” So you think the scrubs photo in the medical office on your profile has nothing to do with it?”.

I was most obviously alluding to the fact he is a surgeon but was subtle enough he probably didn’t get it. I think. But then again he didn’t laugh. Lol

Like let’s not kid ourselves here. If men are perfectly happy living in an alternate reality where they can justify to themselves being loved mostly for their money. Great.

Don’t grow. Don’t learn from your mistakes. Don’t see where problems may lie within yourself. Nope. Just keep being delusional. Well… but who can blame them really? Seems to be a problem with the entirety of civilization really.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

13 thoughts on “Stop fooling yourselves or just because you can doesn’t mean you should”

  1. My mom got married again to a guy who’s 11 years older than I am… and my mom is 21 years older than myself and we all thought that was so weird and then had the nerve to say something to her about it… and very much regretted it. Boy, did she rip us all a new one while driving home a lesson about something we’ve all heard: Age ain’t nothing but a number; that and mind your own damned business.

    As you’ve pointed out at times, some folks are all about money and they want to be with someone who has a lot of it; we hear about folks getting married and there’s a big gap in their ages and, yep, sometimes it’s about money more than it is about love. I can’t begin to recall all of the times I’ve heard (or known) about some pretty young thing marrying a guy old enough to be her daddy or granddaddy… because homey is loaded and likewise for guys marrying women much older than they are… because sugar mama has more money than she knows what to do with.

    Even when I was growing up, girls wouldn’t tell you what time it was to save your life unless you had a job and making money that wasn’t minimum wage and your bank account was the only thing they were really interested in. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard guys getting ripped to shreds about them being from 35 to 50 (or older) and marrying an 18-year old or women bitching and moaning because the guy they’re chasing ain’t interested in them because they’re not between the ages of 18 and 25.

    Older women get their hands on some young stud… and now it’s about cradle robbing, being a cougar and all that and while that’s also about money, sometimes it isn’t and as evidenced by the guy my mom married – she made way much more money than he did (but he wasn’t a pauper in that sense). Ain’t gonna say she married him because he was a stud but she fell in love with him and that’s all that she cared about.

    Today, people with lots of money are all about prenuptial agreements so that if/when the marriage fails, they get to keep their wealth instead of having to give up half of it in a divorce so marrying for money ain’t as “profitable” as it once was.

    Love, in and of itself, doesn’t care how old you are, or what you’re worth… but people do care about these things. You get involved with someone who is inside of five years older or younger, no one thinks much about it… but if the age difference is ten years either way, well, there’s got to be a reason that ain’t got shit to do with being in love – and sometimes money is the reason and even if that’s not the case, well, there has to be something wrong with you…

    When if there’s anything really wrong, it’s because you’re in love. Finally, is it creepy? Might seem that way but history tells a different story where older men have taken younger women and for one specific reason: You can get more babies from a younger woman than an older one and it’s a practice that’s still in play with many cultures and one seen as so despicable that we here in the US have some very strict age of consent laws… but once you’re a legal adult, those laws no longer apply so if you’re 21 and you wanna marry a guy who’s 55, you can… and people are gonna talk about the both of you and not in good ways. She’s likely to be tagged as a gold-digging slut and he’s a nasty-assed pedophile, right, because there’s no way in hell they can really be in love.

    Depends on how you care to look at it, huh?

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    1. Nope. Still creepy. And men past 50 really shouldn’t be having kids anyway. So that’s absolutely no excuse. None!!

      No. There are exceptions to every situation of course but on the whole it’s not right. It isn’t and justifications and excuses are ways to deem it ok. When it really shouldn’t be. But I don’t want this addressed at a legislative level. I wish people self regulated themselves more. Again….just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

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    2. And I’m talking in extreme cases. But then again. I honestly don’t care about the people themselves and their life decisions. Except that they are setting bad examples. They are making something that should not be common more common and it’s sad to me. It skews reality.

      And I hate the mere idea of prenups. If you’re marrying for money then it’s obviously not what’s needed and if you’re marrying for love it also seems odd to me. I’d never sign one. Never. I’d rather not get married. What’s the point. Like all these younger generations of married people not having joint bank accounts. I don’t get it at all. It’s a benefit to marriage. Seriously. Why bother?

      Love is love. Marriage is marriage. Money is money. None of these need to intersect necessarily. Although they all seem to.

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      1. Fallacies to you, not so much for others – one man’s junk is another man’s treasure and all that. There are people today who still believe that interracial relationships should never happen and that everyone should stay with their own kind… while others don’t pay mixed couples any attention at all.

        All fallacies are products of perception and rarely about the truth of things… and we all don’t look at any of this the same way and, yep, people find reason to change their minds. Or not despite what reality is showing us. You don’t have to like it or accept it but that doesn’t really change anything since it still happens and for the reasons it does. The best we can do is say, “Well, I wouldn’t do that…”

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      2. I’m actually not saying I wouldn’t do that. I’m saying that living under false pretenses and believing it to be something it isn’t is nonsensical and a bad example to set. That’s all really. In this case, these situations with these men three times older than their brides is creepy to me. That is my opinion and I own it. But that’s not the overall context of what I’m trying to say really.

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      3. Ah, okay! People do it all of the time, though – humans can justify anything they do once they put their minds to it. The justification could be disagreeable to anyone who might be privy to it but that’s not unusual either – again, our perceptions don’t match up since we all view the world differently despite understanding some basic premises.

        One can do something that isn’t Kosher – they know they did it, know they were wrong for doing it, but can convince themselves that they did the right thing. Is it a lie or more of a self-defense mechanism? I don’t really know but if it’s a lie, prove it; that might be easy or incredibly difficult depending on what’s being justified inside their head. If it makes you angry, you’re getting angry about something you can’t really do anything about unless you have a way to call humanity out on the carpet for being human… and as if everyone is gonna listen to what you have to say about it.

        We can deal with ourselves in this, can caution those close to us about not lying to themselves about things and we don’t have to like it when we see or know of people doing this mental acrobatic act to justify something. If we can barely control the actions of others, we sure as hell can’t control how people think even when we try to do just that.

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      4. That’s true. We can barely control ourselves. I’m not trying to control others; not their actions and not their thoughts but I do wish lying was a more unacceptable behavior in society. It frustrates me that we seem to be going in the opposite direction. Where the line between truth and fiction is blurring completely.

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      5. It is unacceptable and always has been – “Thou shalt not bear false witness” but people lie because they believe they need to for some reason, even if they’re really lying to themselves and they’re doing so because it makes them feel better about something or convincing themselves not to feel badly or, really, for any reason that makes sense to them. People do it… and they know they shouldn’t.

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      6. It’s a horrible way to live and I try so much to live with authenticity. It’s hard to see people profit from lies, but I sleep well at night, my conscience is clear and it’s worth it to me. But I suppose their hypocrisy, justifications and lying is worth it to them or they wouldn’t do it. It doesn’t seem harsh enough that the soul suffers when we lie. That isn’t enough of a deterrent for most people. But society seems to applaud success at any price and that really does feel suffocating to me. I’d rather fail with an open heart and genuine spirit in living then fake my way through mediocrity towards undeserved gains.

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