Humans in our current amalgamation have been around for over 200,000 years. That’s a lot of generations, rulers, and periods. Which makes it hard for me to believe that we have been so spiritually depleted that entire time. I also find it hard to believe that men have ruled and framed the narrative that entire time. I find it even harder to believe, although I am forced to on this one, that this is the best we’ve come up with as a functional world in all that time.

I’m not angered or upset about this all, I’m more bewildered. Do I want to know what the past held? I’ve talked to other spiritual practitioners and have been told that we were much more spiritually evolved before. That at one point we used our sixth sense routinely and the most advanced of us had literal halo’s around the crowns of our heads. I’m supposing if this was true that this era ended with persecutions, because that’s the human way of dominance and subversion and because we have no history of it, it’s been erased from our conscious minds.


This was my thought process from the simple context of dowries. I was calculating what I had to offer if I got right married now; as far as material gains. Then I got angered at myself for even thinking in those terms. I hate the conditioning of this world.

I vacillate between wanting to prove I can do this all on my own, expressly because it has been made so difficult for me and then just wanting someone at my side to love maddeningly and mutually lean on in this sometimes very severe landscape of smoke and mirrors, trials and tribulations, hardships and glory.*

You know, I’ve grown a lot as a person these last few years. I’ve learned to truly love, depend on and trust myself. It hasn’t been easy and it is still a work in progress but it has been worth it.

I guess I just surrender to the life I am meant to live. Grateful. That’s it. What else is there to be? Can’t expect more from life or to ever be satisfied with anything, ever…..if I can’t find gratitude where I am now. Know what I mean?

And that’s all I’ve got for today.

Happy Halloween!! πŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒ



*or…and I don’t like to think this way, but I also contemplate just giving up completely. Just letting go of trying so hard to maintain and build this. Letting it all go to hell if that’s what it wants to do. But then what? Be homeless? Give me ex the kids? Do what? Go where? Walk away? Let it all burn to the ground once and for all instead of battling so hard for it. I don’t know. I’m not there. I don’t know that I want to be there; in that spot of just not caring at all anymore.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

13 thoughts on “Dowry”

  1. I had a thought about what I brought to the table not exactly as a dowry and it kind of made me feel sad. Not much. Oh well. I think I have quite abundance of spirituality πŸ’•
    What a great post

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re worth so much more than any monetary value could ever offer. If only we looked at each other through that lens the world would be a different place. Your spirituality is a valued asset; to yourself, to others, to the world. Never forget or let others diminish that.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I had a conversation yesterday about dowries and how some cultures still require some form of payment before a marriage can take place – and something that’s been with us for the longest time and because women were treated as chattel – they were property and, sadly, often seen as being worth less than a good horse, cow, whatever.

    Here in the US, we’ve kinda gotten away from that kind of thinking but, traditionally, the bride’s family is duty bound to pay for their child’s wedding which is a holdover from the days when dowries were pretty much mandatory. That’s also changed quite a bit and with couples opting to forego the pomp and circumstances and just head to the local justice of the peace, pony up the cost of a marriage license, and just get married.

    We live in a time where prenuptial agreements are enacted and strictly adhered to so that whatever “wealth” two people bring to a marriage will remain theirs should they divorce and, in my opinion, removing one of the tenets of being married – sharing everything with each other for richer or poorer.

    We live in a world that is still, by and large, patriarchal in nature – it’s a man’s world and I’d never say this is always a good thing and it’s certainly something that has rubbed women the wrong way over the centuries. We even found that having a Black President of the United States to be very damned acceptable… but having a woman running things? It seems obvious to me that some people went out of their way to create yet another one of those weird situations where someone won the popular vote… but lost their bid to be POTUS… and you gotta wonder why and how that really happened.

    Were we more spiritual (I’m not sure if that’s really the correct word in this context) in those days gone by? Probably but our evolution as a species has edited out a lot of that former potential and despite evolutionary processes, many continue to search for that level of spirituality, just as there are many who long to return to the way things were, say, in the 1950s and in a time where we were overly moral, religious, and perhaps even being more empathically spiritual in our pursuit of happiness which, strangely enough, was one of the hallmarks of the Flower Power Revolution to get back to our spiritual beings and, um, even with the use of, ah, natural pharmaceuticals and, er, um, yeah, lots of Tantric sex, not just for the pleasure of it but because of sex’s power to bind us both physically and metaphysically.

    And life, such as it is, marches onward. The world is what it is and for a lot of reasons, some of which really don’t make a lot of sense here in the 21st century but it’s the way we’ve always done things. We’ve seen spurts of changes in the patriarchal dominance but as with all change, it’s slow and ponderous and, at times, ineffectual or, really, not as effective as we’d like it to be since there are still way too many people who hold true that the very old ways are still the best ways to do things.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Change can be slow. Especially when it comes to mass indoctrination.

      It’s an unfortunate truth that people hold tight to things that are impermanent, in a quest for feeling in control and stable. But life itself doesn’t lend itself to being always in control or having constant stability. That is a falsity we like to create for ourselves.

      I am striving to achieve my own level of awareness of how I try to hold on to life and have my own false expectations. I am trying to welcome life exactly as it comes, graciously and gratefully. It’s especially hard for me to do when driving and when it comes to my children’s health and happiness. But this is part of my own spiritual work. Patience with a world that seems to strive to try it every chance it gets. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

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