I had my best friend from high school blow through town last night. I’ve known this man since we were 13. He used to pull me out of the library at lunch to meet people and ditch school. He would take care of me like a big brother. I was madly in love with him then. Madly!! But he had a thing for thin, rich, blond girls and they seemed to have a thing for him too. But through them all we stayed friends.
I hadn’t seen him in 10 years although we catch up with hour long conversations sometimes spanning a few days every quarter or so. We’ve both aged of course; there isn’t that underlying sexual tension I always felt for him. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t have sex. Lol
He is married now and has a two year old daughter and while my policy is very strict with married men he is worthy of an exception. For many reasons: I’ve known him three times longer than she has. She cheated on him a few years ago, drained their bank accounts on her lover and he stayed with her, which I supported him on. He also told me, which I tend to believe because he usually doesn’t lie to me, that they have had sex all of 4 times since his child was born and that he’s never cheated on her before. (Ok…… not sure I believe that last one.)*
I knew I wasn’t going to orgasm going in but it was just nice to share that intimate bond again. Granted that we only ever had sex twice before and over 30 years ago now. I was purposefully being evasive but once his hard penis was deep inside he barely was able to blurt out to me how awesome I felt and then came in less than 4 thrusts. I wish I could say that was a record. But🙄🙄🙄.
🤪😝🤣 It’s fine. Again. It wasn’t really about the sex for me it was about feeling close to him again. Cuddling. It was strictly about the connection.
He was supposed to sleep and drive out of town first thing this morning but we ended up talking all night instead. We went over everything; finances, spiritually, sex, dating, friendships, family. It was really nice to talk to someone that doesn’t need the backstory to me.
He gave me the green light to professionally Domme. I told him it wasn’t like I could set up shop and expect a flood of people. But…the most poignant thing he said to me is
“Look, you and I grew up under people that didn’t really care about us. There were no silver spoons or college funds for us. We barely made it through high school. Fortunately we are both savy and we have worked our whole lives to get where we are but everyone struggles financially and in other countries it’s much worse.
Even rich people struggle. Their monthly expenses may be higher and their lives more lavish but they still need to hit that mark every month. So no one is truly immune from that. You just need to get through this year and a half. See if business picks up and at least get your kid through high school and set her up for her future; which is more than was ever done for us.
Sometimes we have to do things we never thought we’d have to do to get by. This is the position many people are in, not just you. Unless you’re going to marry Brad I suggest you take this opportunity to try to stay afloat.”
He then told me how he grew pot professionally (as a side gig) for a few years and did a cross country mule job to get by. He said it was worth the risk and had he not done it he would have had to declare bankruptcy and lose everything he had. In my opinion losing your freedom from getting caught isn’t worth it but he said something else funny. He said
“Think of the worst thing that can happen to you and do whatever it takes to avoid that.”
I’m not sure I like to think that way but I do see his point.
Except in this mark in my journey I’m feeling like my goal is to be spiritually connected more than economically solvent but I think I myself need to find a way to align those things. One keeps me sane and the other keeps my families needs met.
I was trying to go out with a girlfriend tonight for a drink except I don’t have that many and I also figured it would be less expensive and better for my liver to indulge in a cheat day instead.
So on the agenda today is a full work day with my new job and enough carbs to knock out an entire convention of celiac allergic people along with enough cheese and dairy to help a Midwest farmer buy a truck full of grain. I gotta do my part to save the celiac’s and feed the cows.
Really is my civic duty….. at least once in a while. Lol….. and it’s a challenge and responsibility I don’t take lightly. My stomach will protest, my brain will settle into a deep fog, my joints will become enflamed.
Why am I doing this again?
On my way to get a full dairy latte and extra gluten bagel now🤣. I can’t even remember the last time I had one of those. Seriously like 3 years I think. 💋💋💋
*Oh and plus he said she recently told him that as long as she didn’t find out, he was free to do as he pleased… sexually. Which means to me that either she is cheating on him again, she’s lying to herself or she truly doesn’t care about having sex with him anymore. I actually always thought that was a good stance and a good out for a man, but seeing it come to my friend… I can now see how hurtful it actually is, or can be seen as.
Marriage can be sucky sometimes. I gave him a few pointers: date nights, making her feel desired, etc. They’ll figure it out or they won’t. Right? I’m rooting for them though.