Boy that man sure is pretty. I, very laughably, didn’t recognize Blake Lively as the brunette love interest and I was wondering how he didn’t fall for her, even if just while filming.
Then I saw, while looking up some movie info (while watching), that it was her and connected the dots. This is how they met. Too funny. I think she looks much sexier as a brunette, not that she could possibly look bad with any style/color or even no hair.
I liked the movie. He’s “impertinent, rash, volatile, opinionated” and very much human, and it’s this seeming weakness that ends up being his greatest asset.
I’ve been challenging myself recently to have pure thoughts. I’m not saying that they are always good or pleasant or meaningful or whatever. But I want my thoughts to be transparent, as if the world could see them and I want them to reflect my heart but because our lives are layered and our emotions are vast and sometimes fleeting….. I recognize that I don’t have to follow any of them down rabbit holes I don’t want to go down.
This is exactly what I’ve been doing with porn. I’m steering my mind to where I want it to go. Letting my values and who I want to be dictate my actions and thoughts. It means placing some stoppers on myself, which aren’t always fun. It also means veering the way I truly want to go and not the path the shadows lay down. Like the ultimate game of chutes and ladders only with my soul on the line.
I’ve been thinking more and more that maybe I don’t fit in this world the way that it is…. but also, maybe I don’t care to either. Maybe I like the beating of the drums I hear, even if no one else feels them quite like I do. I guess we all have our variances. That’s the fun part of it all, I suppose.
I’m also really not sure how to get off this hamster wheel and the idiotic entrapments and norms of modern living. But I so want to be done pretending to care about things I really don’t care about.
“If for once you didn’t quit something you cared about, what’s the worst that could happen?”
What is the worst indeed?
Goodnight. Sweet dreams.