I love vulnerability. I think it’s what connects us. That’s the openness and emotion that we need to feel true empathy. But it has its limits in this world I suppose, unfortunately. And it also hurts a little, like a rawness that is, for me sometimes, right on the border of almost being uncomfortable but then also really feeling good too. Kind of like orgasming while in a BDSM session of pain.
Right now I’m feeling very vulnerable……like not the good kind either. The kind where you’re in a dream and everyone has clothes on but you. I even woke up singing Alanis Morissette’s Uninvited. I love the song but I never got how they incorporated it into that movie. No angel needs an invitation, ever. Especially not Nicolas Cage. Lol.
Maybe I’ll go back and watch it again. Except most movies haven’t aged well in this whole “me too” women’s empowerment era. And that’s not a bad thing, just awkward. Like watching your grown family kiss on the mouth too long. Lol
I must go buy the GQ magazine with Brad Pitt on the cover. I’m not a magazine fan generally and I don’t think it will ever be a collector’s item, but I’m gonna chop that up to fangirling. Hard! Kind of like those two actresses did about it too. I may even get the pages sticky. Lol 🤪🤤💋🥰
Now, vulnerability. We learn to create shields around ourselves to protect us from being “too vulnerable,” letting them down some (or completely) when we have sex, fall in love, or even share something private and personal. While this is normal (and whatever that really means), sometimes our shields wind up taking a beating and exposes us to too many vulnerable moments; instead of feeling warm and fuzzy, it’s more like being in a hailstorm and there’s no cover or safe haven in sight so we wind up getting pelted by both small hailstorms and really big ones.
For some, however, they’re in the hailstorm when having sex, falling in love, and feeling like they’re teetering on the edge of the abyss if they have to share something private and personal; they’re very unsettling moments and ones that should be avoided… except many wind up doing more damage to themselves when trying to avoid the hail.
We just need to get out of the storm long enough to reestablish our shields before moving on and then we have to do so with the confidence that our shields will hold against the storm and back to operating normally.
There were two times in my life where my shields were ineffective and left me feeling vulnerable and insignificant. The first was in the hills just outside of Los Angeles; I had stopped at an observation point that overlooked the city and I looked up… and saw a sky filled with stars and so many that, to my eye, there weren’t many dark spaces between all those points of lights.
It brought me to tears; it was both an amazing and kinda ugly feeling that I’ll never forget. The next was onboard a cruise ship during an at-sea day in Hawaii. I had gotten up to take pictures of the sunrise at sea and that feeling hit me again as I took in the vastness of the open seas and realizing that even though I was on a huge cruise ship, I and the ship was just a small speck against all that water and its awesome power.
I felt it, felt vulnerable despite my shields being in good working order, and I said, “Shit…” and kept taking pictures and moved by the moment. You really hate feeling that vulnerable but sometimes, it can be one hell of a reality check and even a necessary one.
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A necessary reality check. 👍🏽 God knows we all need those now and again. Lol
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I know how they will get sticky…
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I wonder how that magazine will get sticky? ❤ 😉
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🤷🏽♀️
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