I don’t usually put my dreams on here because they are boring and I don’t always remember them very well. I am fully aware that listening to people’s dreams, especially people you aren’t connected to can be its own form of Chinese torture. But this is for all intents and purposes my online diary and as such you get a wide variety of hodge podge. Sorry, not sorry. 😋
Lil Nas X and I were having sex*. So after sex I was immediately going to leave and he stops me. I realize quickly that to him we are in a serious and real relationship. He didn’t want me to go. We end up driving down a back road with beautiful fields of flowers. I comment on how beautiful they are and he immediately pulls over so we can touch and smell them.
Once at my house he asks me why I sacrifice so much for my family. I can tell he is deeply concerned for my well-being. In the dream I am the older sister to my real life daughters and our parents are never around. **
We all gather around the living room chit chatting. My eldest sister (daughter) and her boyfriend and all the girls. In my dream Nas is Hispanic and speaks Spanish well and the boys get to talking and joking around. Everyone is laughing and having a good, mellow time. Nas looks over at me like I’m the greatest treasure in the world and he’s the luckiest man alive. And I’m happy, things feel easy, my heart is full.
I wake up realizing I want that so much.
I was telling my baby daddy that I don’t know how much longer I can keep this all going. He says he wants us all to move to an inexpensive city and buy a duplex together. Somewhere that would be much, much less than what we are both paying for living quarters now. He says if we can get it cheap enough I may not even have to work anymore. Which may or may not be feasible but also I’m not an idle person. I like working. I would love to be able to do some extensive research and write more though.
The not needing to work part coupled with the affordability is a huge draw, even though I hate moving. Do I want to live right next door to my ex? It’s a lot to process.
Right this moment although I’m going through the motions of what I feel needs to happen, but the ball is firmly in my dad’s court. Since he is on the house note with me I need his paperwork to proceed with any mediation and/or housing assistance. If he says no, then I’ll have two other options to pursue. I’m feel like I’m in a whack-a-mole game ad I’m the mole. I keep sticking my head up hoping I don’t get pummeled.
I also need someone to go under my house into the crawl space and spread diatamaceous earth down to help with the horrible flea situation. I would do it but I’m a bit claustrophobic. So I’ve got to hire someone to do it. Fun, fun!
*He was using his spit for lubrication, which I personally don’t like. Coconut oil is a natural anti-bacterial and anti-fungal, works great as lube and I like the way it smells. Doesn’t always play nice with condoms, but then again I don’t like condoms soo…… I read a claim from a doctor claiming coconut oil can disrupt vaginal Ph balance but I’d trust the oil over saliva any day and I’ve used it for years with great results. If anything I personally believe the opposite is true. But I wouldn’t just go stuffing oil up there. When my vaj is off balance I use organic plain full fat yogurt. In 3 days my flora is back on track.
**They also adopted a chinese teenage girl. She beats to her own drum and is happy unto herself even though she gets very little attention. Which I am happy about because I have no energy or time to give her. (They say everyone in your dream is really just you. Soooo….🤷🏽♀️)