Difficult school days – fame

I see my children navigate their school days. It’s hardest for my most emotional child. She is both hyperintelligent and hypersensitive and once she learns to control and use those to her advantage she will be much better off. But we aren’t there yet, not even close.

And as much as I want to tell her things will get better when she grows up and that all this turmoil will not follow her in life….I simply can’t. Because I know that the truth is…… adulthood can also be pretty lame, only maybe (sometimes) in a more subtle way.

As an adults we don’t always know who is hurting or helping us, where the alliances lie, and who truly controls the strings and pushes the buttons. We aren’t always privy to it, but the drama and gameplay still exists none the less. Whether we care to acknowledge it or not and not playing doesn’t exempt us from it entirely.

I know because most of my life I’ve tried to steer clear of other people’s soap operas, but they still play out and I still get swept up in them sometimes. I’ve learned to have acceptance of that, but it took me a long time to understand this. This is not something I think I can impart to her yet.

So I’m just going to try to help her get through this with help from people far more knowledgeable about the things she is going through than myself. But with ample hugs and support to let her see she isn’t alone. I’m not sure what else I can effectively do.


I can’t ever remember truly wanting fame. I was just not something I ever wanted in life. Of course who doesn’t want the spoils of it, but I understood the sacrifices of it far too well, even as a teenager. Plus, I have always had very deep introvert tendencies, which I never fully understood or acknowledged until recently.

This explains why I always loved people watching and going on solo adventures, watching movies, reading books, museums, working out, cooking/baking, garage sales. The things I’ve always enjoyed the most have been things I can do alone, pensively and mostly in control of the stimuli coming at me.

When Louise Hay told me I was going to be a famous speaker at first I was like ok, cool and then I was like nope, can’t, not me. So much so I contacted her to complain about it. Lol. That was in another blog I realize but it fits this theme.

The theme is that all I wanted (my entire life) was my own little family; a quiet happy home life, with stability and simple happinesses. But…..it’s never come to fruition. My life has, so far, always had some underlying madness to it. And it’s not that I want to fight it, or even control it, I just want it to end… once and for all.

But can we ever fully escape the evils of this world? Because it seems to me that even if we can control the evil within, we don’t escape the evil outside ourselves.

I don’t have answers. I don’t have solutions…..yet…..

I have acceptance. I have peace. I have contentment.

And for now that’s more than good enough…..

but I’m not giving up on the questions. Because they are important to me. Most what everyone thinks matters in life truly doesn’t. When you strip it all down. I’ve lived though too much to be fooled by it all. But I aim to get to the bottom of this….. to lift the veil, push back the script and write my own saga. I don’t want or need fame for that.

But we shall see….shan’t we.


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

9 thoughts on “Difficult school days – fame”

  1. “But can we ever fully escape the evils of this world?”

    No and not for a lack of trying. Well, there is one sure-fire escape but let’s not go there. Absent that, the best we can hope to do is to avoid the evils of the world to the best of our ability.

    What matters? I think it’s a bit… erroneous to say that most of what matters in life truly doesn’t because that which matters is an individual thing although there are many things in life that we share that matters. Now what I will tell you that as you get older, you start to realize that a lot of the things that once mattered to you all of a sudden has you asking why it did or why you placed so much emphasis on something that the older version of yourself deems isn’t all that important… but that doesn’t change the fact that whatever it is, it did matter and you gave it the attention it was due even if, later on, you feel that it was a great idea at the time… or it wasn’t.

    When you strip it all down, you see that, yep, you were once fooled by it all – because we all get fooled and continue to be fooled until we can reach that point in our lives when we have the ability to strip it down; it’s that thing that makes you say, “I don’t believe I did that!” as well as making you say, “I wonder why I didn’t do that?” and even, “If I could do it over again…”

    Some things may not matter now… but they once did and they were things that shaped and molded your life in all those up and down ways and, really: The one thing that will always continue to matter is to keep doing the best you can with your life and with what you have to work with; what matters isn’t so much the things you did or didn’t do in your past – it’s what you’re going to do, that which you may or may not need, in order to keep doing the best you can.

    Getting to the bottom of it. Great idea and a worthy thing to do. I did it and I’m often saddened to see what’s at the bottom while being quite happy that I had the presence of mind to want to see the root of things; not only see them but understand them. So I tend to agree with you that you cannot begin to write your saga until you can get to the bottom of things and be able to see them for what they really are and, again, understanding why they are the way they are.

    Maybe you smile wryly, get a funny look on your face, perhaps even frown as you ponder the things that have shaped your existence to date – but you get it and now the thing that matters is what are you gonna do with what you’ve learned in this.

    And, no – I don’t think one needs fame even though many of us think that having it matters; yet, a great many of us do just fine without it. So write your saga – not that you haven’t been writing it all along, mind you. Tell the story of your life and what you’ve learned and if you’re of a mind to, share it with others so that those who are trying to find their way – and deciding upon what matters and what doesn’t – can see how you did it.

    Lastly, kids: The most harrowing time of my adult life was having my kids in school and being of an age where I knew there were lessons they needed to learn that no school can ever teach them… except the school of hard knocks and knowing that there are going to be some things they’re gonna have to learn the hard way – and there’s nothing you can do to prevent it and, importantly, because you learned some stuff the hard way as well.

    You realize that you can tell them everything you think they need to know… and all you can do is tell them and hope that they listen and not think that (a) you’re crazy and (b) you don’t know what you’re talking about. My kids drove me nuts with this; I’m fairly sure that I drove my mother nuts a few times thinking that, nah, she doesn’t really know what’s going on… then found out that she did. One of the things I learned to do was to start telling my children those things they’ll never learn in any school… and keep telling and reminding them. I spent a lot of time telling them, “One day, you’re gonna realize that I was right…” and they all said that wasn’t gonna happen.

    They grew up, moved out, really got into living their lives… and calling me from time to time to eat some crow and admit that, yeah, I was right. My youngest son was the guy I had the hardest time with so, yeah, I’d gloat when he’d call me and say, “I can’t stand you! You told me that (whatever he experienced) would happen and you knew how what I’d do and how it would turn out! How the fuck did you know that?”

    I’d tell him – and as I had been telling him and his siblings all along – “I used to be your age – been there, done that, and did it better than you did.”

    Is there a right time to teach your children this very necessary stuff? Are they really too young to understand? Tough questions and what I became aware of is that since tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, let’s not waste whatever time we have to impart the lessons they need to learn; otherwise, they’ll grow up trying to operate with a lack of information or, crap, they’re gonna get some faulty and flawed information from other sources.

    So you start to drive home the lessons and as soon as you can… and you keep doing it at every turn so that, one day, you can sit back and ask yourself if you, as a parent, did all you could to prepare them to take their place in the world.

    And then pray that you did and that they were really listening.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww…your reply made me tear up. Thanks. You’re right. Even if I think it’s over her head now it’s best to at least try. One day she may thank me.

      Thanks!! πŸ’‹πŸ₯°

      And of course about all your other wise words. You know your worth. I’m just glad to get to enjoy your wisdom. πŸ€—πŸ™πŸ½


      1. Let’s just say that we both know what might happen if she winds up learning a lot of things the hard way… and we gotta do whatever we can to lessen that. Maybe our kids will thank us for pounded this important stuff into their head – and maybe not so much but one day, they will – and just like we did – get it and they’re out there doing the best they can and armed with the knowledge we gave them.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh….but what I meant about most things people care about don’t matter are the superficialities of it all. I’ve never really been too caught up in it, probably because I realized even if I tried I was never going to fully fit in. I never saw where I had a place to begin with, so why try to play. But once I grew past even wanting to be accepted I understood that most people have skewed values. They don’t treasure what is most important in life. Like time, health, the people we love, being content with who we are inside, with how we treat ourselves and others, sleeping well because we have a clear conscience, kindness, compassion, giving of ourselves and being authentic and vulnerable.

      People for the most part value things and wealth, fame and power. Which sure who doesn’t like those things but when it comes down to it are not as important as the quality of our relationships (especially to oneself) and the value of our heart and souls and what we give yo the world.


      1. I knew what you meant; we are so superficial about a lot of things but at some point we see the error and fallacy of going about things like this; we learn not to approach life in this fashion and it’s really a question of when you learn this – and, sadly, a lot of people don’t or it’s “too late” for them.

        Did I worry about fitting in? Yes… and not so much. Do I have a place in the world? Yes… and the trick is figuring out what that might be and how to go about it so that you can be the best human being you can possibly be…

        And even if no one else knows it or can appreciate it. What matters is that you can appreciate who you are and what you’re trying to do and if others don’t see it or get it, well, if they don’t understand you, it’s their fault, isn’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

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