No time for mota, no time to worry about dating.

I have rules for myself. I follow them as if I were to be penalized severely because feeling bad and hating myself is indeed one of the worst outcomes I can think of. One of these rules is that I don’t take pot when the kids are awake. Nor do I take it when I have plans early the next morning as sometimes it causes me insomnia*.

Pot is almost always a very pleasant experience full of introspection, dreamscapes and deep relaxation. However, sometimes I wake up a bit groggy and other times completely refreshed and I can’t ascertain which it will be beforehand. So it’s just better to not do it when I am needing to be fully present early the next day.

So between not wanting to travel with THC, it not being readily available on every street corner in New York (like it is in Portland) and having to hit the ground running with work the moment I got back I haven’t indulged in quite a bit of time. It’s fine. Considering I may have to take a drug test for this new opportunity soon it’s probably for the best. I do miss it, but not as much as I thought I would. Still though. I write more then too, but that’s also just because I’m up and being overly-pensive.

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I’ve been asked by two clients this week why I’m not dating. I have many good answers, but the most valid is probably that it’s not a priority and I don’t want to look for the time. Plus, I just don’t want to go through the rigamarole of it all. The back and forth of tedious questions and formal assessments. πŸ˜£πŸ™„. No thanks! I’m good. I don’t feel the need and I don’t feel I’m missing out on anything. Kind of like my sex life. It just feels irrelevant and unnecessary right now. I have no expectations, derision or anger surrounding this. I’m just not putting any effort, energy or emotion into it.

This is the first time in my life that I’m single and not consumed with longing for a partner, a romp, or a seduction. It’s so liberating that I’m perfectly content to stay here. I don’t feel like I’m in limbo either. I feel free to be fully myself without having to worry about meeting anyone’s expectations or fall into a specified role. It’s a really cool place to find myself in life. I never knew this place of satisfaction with myself existed. This place of deep comfort in my own skin and not trying or feeling the need to find someone or something outside of myself for it is the best feeling in the world. πŸ˜‰β£οΈπŸ’‹

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*When I’m not taking pot for pain, anxiety or insomnia, I enjoy it for the way it helps me get in touch with myself on a deeper level.

It’s funny that the thing I take for insomnia can cause it too. But there is a difference between having the anxious and stressful insomnia that has you tossing and turning and the kind that has you smiling and enjoying yourself and your quiet time alone.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

2 thoughts on “No time for mota, no time to worry about dating.”

  1. It’s funny how people think that if you’re single, you should always be on the hunt for someone you can settle down with. Growing up way back in the day, the “push” was to get a girlfriend – only one, mind you – and hold onto her as long as you can… which could be as long as a half an hour sometimes. If you lose her, don’t waste any time finding another girl to date and try to make your own.

    Until you grow up and discover that, ha, if I don’t feel like dating, I don’t have to. Yeah… people start getting in your case about not seeing anyone and if you explain to them that you have some more important things to do, they might say, “Okay…” – but they’re probably thinking that there’s something really wrong with you and especially if you’ve been single and not dating for a while, say, longer than sixty days.

    Liked by 1 person

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