The old man

I was probably around 10. I had been playing with my dad’s live in girlfriend’s daughter in the front of the house. She was a few years younger and did not speak much English. We were doing summersaults on the grass and playing hopscotch. Standard little girl games.

The next door neighbor, this older man, was on his porch. His wife was in and out. He called us over. I went up to his porch but kept my distance a bit. I had never been formally introduced, although I’m quite sure he knew who we were. He asked if we wanted candy and told us to come in the house to show him our butts.

My playmate asked me what he said. Once I translated it she immediately ran back to the house and I followed behind her. I told my father what happened and he got so angry with me. He accused me of lying but he also forbid us from playing outside anymore. Which as a hyper little girl was the worst punishment possible. I was so angry. I didn’t understand. I did nothing wrong. Why was I being punished?

Years later as an adult talking with my dad over some drinks he asks me if I remember that old man. I said yes, but refrained from bringing up that memory. He said “I saved that man’s life”. My jaw dropped to the floor. He went on to explain that when he first moved into the house he was outside working on his yard and saw through the chain link fence that the man had fallen and was laying on the ground motionless.

My father ran over and got his wife. She called 911, my father stayed with him until the ambulance came.

Then I understood. Why he had not wanted to believe me. I understood why he was so angered.

My parents have both suffered so much discrimination and hardship in this country because of their ethnicity and/or color. Truly it’s amazing they did as well as they did. That is a true testament to the “American dream”, even if it is 10 times harder for the disenfranchised (whether they be by gender, race, social status, wealth, skin, sexuality or whatever).


I remember asking my mom why she liked living in Mission Viejo and other upper class white neighborhoods that had hardly any ethnic people.

I remember a pointed conversation when we were having dinner out and I said “you realize we are the only people of color here besides the workers. That doesn’t bother you? You actually enjoy this?”. My views may be skewed. But I’ve always loved diversity. I have always loved learning about different cultures and people. All of one kind, of any kind, is not my preference.

I think we are so much better together. Every culture has something of value to add to the mix of our planet.


The teachers at the reiki ranch told me that a shift was happening in the world on a grand scale and people are awakening and I laughed a bit. I said “yea, I doubt I’ll see that in my lifetime” and she looked at me in complete seriousness and said “as soon as next year”.

“Yea, I wish” I said and then I really laughed. People often think I’m making fun of them when I do this sort of thing. I’m absolutely not.

It’s a comforting thought. That in a year there can be such a huge shift to right wrongs and make this world truly, mutually beneficially for all to cohabitate and live symbiotically and also with nature and reverence for mother Earth. I’m sorry. As beautiful and as much as I wish it were so…….I just am not sure I see it happening so soon, if ever at all.

—-(so yea)

I think the powers that be would rather end the world through nuclear devastation than give up power and control. Sometimes it makes me almost hope it all destabilizes. I mean only if it meant it would be restructured better. But as much as I love this place; I just don’t know that humans are capable of such a noble and selfless endeavor. I am not sure I have that belief. And it’s that thought that makes me shrug my shoulders and just let whatever happens happens sometimes. I just can’t be bothered to care about everything so, so much that it keeps me up at night….. especially about something we are all so complicit in.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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