Not seeking attention

My readership is down. Way down. Maybe it’s my lack of sex talk. Maybe it’s the turmoil in my life. Maybe it’s my “out there” and taboo subject materials. Maybe it’s my tone as of late. I can’t really say. I really don’t know. The funny thing is…..it doesn’t bother me at all.

Contrary to what quite a few people may think; I’m not doing this for attention. Nor do I expect handouts or or to be saved by someone. I’m especially not looking for pity and I usually am not looking for advice either.

This is just me desperately seeking a place I can be myself. I can share myself. I can scream about my experiences. Cry and laugh about the absurdity and pain and wonder of it all. Reminisce and slather myself in the experience that is me on this planet. After all, it’s the only experience I’ve got. I want to express my deepest feelings. I want to let it all out. Show all of me.

While I didn’t expect to be understood; I have found that so often here on this platform from kind kindred souls. While I didn’t expect to be accepted I have been welcomed into people’s hearts thousands of miles away and I cant express the gratitude and humility that gives me deep inside. And if there is one of you reading this or 100 makes no matter.

I am speaking my truth. At least here in this little speck of the etherworld I can do that freely and honestly (mostly at least). I wish I could write with 100% truth but we don’t live in that kind of world and between being held libel and having it have negative repercussions on my kiddo’s I do have to censor myself somewhat here.

But all the same. I’m more free here than I am anywhere else really, except the comfort of my home. But I don’t talk all that much, which is fine….. plus there aren’t other adults around. And as you all know some of my thoughts are very not PG.

Although I’ve been feeling a bit asexual lately. It’s fine. I’m enjoying this. Usually when I’m not having sex I’m feeling like a dieter at a buffet. Man candy everywhere I can’t have for whatever reason. Lol

Anyway……I guess this is a small thank you to whoever is out there in the quiet of the universe reading this now, friend I know….. or not yet. Thank you for being a witness and allowing me the space to be me.💋🥰🙏🏽❣️

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

12 thoughts on “Not seeking attention”

  1. Sometimes it’s not about who’s reading your blog – it’s all about your need to write it. I don’t get a lot of readers on mine but that’s not why I write – it’s something I do for myself, that and it’s fun. Sure, sex gets everyone’s attention and stuff other than sex, eh, not so much… but the question is what does writing about whatever you want to do for you? How does it make you feel to get something out of your mind or off your chest… and it has nothing to do with getting laid?

    You’re either gonna read my blog or you aren’t… still gonna keep writing it just the same.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. For one, it empties my mind of stuff that tends to stick in it; for another, it’s a form of physical and occupational therapy for the stroke I suffered years ago. When I write about bisexuality in men, I’m “filling a gap” – there are those writing about it but not i the For-real way that I believe is necessary and both the good of it as well as the fucked up parts about it.

        I do it for myself… but if I can enlighten someone, that works, too. I see my stats and a lot of people “read” but few comment and to some bloggers, that’s a problem but for me, nah, not really. I’d like them to because there’s no such thing as too much information but if they don’t, I still have to write even if only for my own benefit.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The stroke affect my whole right side and includes 24/7 nerve pain. I had to re-learn now to walk and, being right handed, how to get back to being right handed. Before the stroke, I was a fast typist and blogging helped me get back up to speed – like 100+ words per minute speed for me – as well as refocusing my mimd away from the constant pain; it hurts like a bitch when I type – even right now – but, well, you can’t mitigate this kind of pain by trying to stay medicated all,the time; I’d never get anything done given the medications I’d have to take that get me so high I don’t even know I’m in pain… or much of anything else.

        My right-handed motor control will never be 100% again but blogging makes me keep at it. I’m a musician – drummer, keyboardist and guitarist – and I will never be able to play like I could before the stroke – but I gotta keep trying to even though I couldn’t begin to tell you how much it bothers me that I can’t play like I once could.

        It helps my memory, which I know was impacted and writing makes me think harder about stuff to remember it – or try to; some of my memories were erased permanently… but I gotta keep trying to remember just the same.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Wow. I’m sorry. Jeezus. What a bitch. I admire your determination though. Sincerely. Tht is beyond commendable. Do you take THC/CBD for the pain at all ever? Nerve pain is the worst. That’s essentially what tooth pain is and it’s the absolute worst kind of pain.

        I admire you even more now. Truly. Your willingness to be yourself. Putting yourself out there and being so sexually free and now this.
        You are pretty damn extraordinary. 🙏🏽💋❣️

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      4. Thanks… but I’m just trying to be who I can be. I’m being… enticed to try edibles for this pain over opioids so I might cave in and give it a try. And it’d rather have the toothache because you can eventually make it stop hurting… but this pain I have never, ever stops, not even when I’m asleep.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I read all your posts but my god this sortation center job is tough. I just got off a ten hour shift and basically going to sleep all day then go back at it. Reading your thoughts is very entertaining although I don’t get the chance to reply to all of them. Personally I hate subjects abour politics or tragedies bc it depresses me so I’m less likely to reply on those!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sortation center job. That sounds way too much like the Elf movie job. I don’t think I’d like that at all. Maybe if it wasn’t too noisy but I can’t imagine that still. What are you sorting?

      Like

    2. That sounds really lonely. I guess I can relate to that. So many of us feel so lonely sometimes. It’s an interesting aspect of life. The thing that probably is most common between us all; our emotions and desires for happiness are also what keep us apart.

      I was talking to the reiki healer last weekend. She says to me “you need to open your heart. You’re heartbroken. Like almost literally.” And I was like “oh ok”. Like it had genuinely not really occured to me. Lol
      Then I say well….what can I do about it? She says spread love, or in her words which were even more colorful and festive “spread rainbows”. (rainbows are for everyone.)lol

      Like

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