Life in segments

It’s interesting where life puts you. Right now my life seems to be going in month long segments. Here is this opportunity. Here is this hurdle. Take it or pass it and then see what pops up next. Knowing these decisions can make huge ripples of changes for my little brood and myself. Just plugging along one day at a time.

I can’t see very far ahead. I’m waiting to hear back from Score to talk to a financial planner in person. While I appreciate Colt’s offer to go to Reddit for my issues and I don’t discount the good advice I may receive, I’m not into giving my financials over the internet for all to see. Plus it’s so deeply intertwined with my personal life that it’s hard not to connect those dots. It’s just more dirty laundry exposure than I need right now in my life.

My spiritual quest has ebbed a bit as far as being social with it; which is fine.

I have lots of eBay clients right now, which is a huge blessing. Before I pursued the colonic business I had wanted to open a brick and mortar location here in town for a consignment/eBay/shipping business. I was in negotiations with the owner of the property who wanted an exorbitant amount of money, which I was prepared to give but would do zero as far as remodeling her very antiquated and desperately needing refurnishing storefront.

I even offered to front and pay part of the costs if she would deduct the balance from the rent going forward. Bathroom upgrade, lighting, floor refinishing. The place smelled liked a musty old closet. She refused to accommodate me and the place sat dormant and vacant for another entire year.

Then a coffee shop took over and that failed, probably due to lack of parking. Now a home design place has taken it and is gutting it out completely; which it truly needed. I often drive past and wish she would have given me the chance. I could tell from the get-go she didn’t really like me on a personal level though, but it was also very apparent to me she didn’t know what she was doing.

You never know why life throws you curve balls. Instead I bought this house, which I love but now may lose or need to sell.

A store front would have been cool. I used to have one a long time ago (a mom and pop shipping store) and I had regulars that were so sweet and kind and who I was so very fond of. It was the highlight of my days seeing them as well as meeting new people. I was able to turn that business, which was losing money when I had bought it, to profit in one year flat. I wasn’t drawing a salary, but the business was out of the red and supporting a part-time employee. It was on target to pay my own salary by the end of the next year, if not sooner. That to me was an amazing accomplishment.

But my ex at the time asked me to choose between my family or the business and I chose the wrong one. Lol. JK. I would have probably lost it had we divorced then anyway and I wouldn’t have my other two littles to show. So things happen for a reason. Who knows why exactly.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever understand this life. Like why this world is set up so idiotically. Why we have our values completely askew.

I have nothing positive to say today, I’m sorry. Not to say I’m unhappy. I’m neither feeling happy or unhappy right now truthfully. There is just no use wondering what the next day, week, month, moment will bring. Just trying to live in this one; heart wide open, come what may.


Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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