Bye girl

I’ve decided to just end this. I will lose the equivalent of $140k in time, energy and money that I invested in this house and business.

I should have just gotten that mommy makeover I wanted in the first place. Probably better use. At least maybe I could have become a stripper or something; some other notable single mom job. Maybe I could have caught myself a beau.

Oh well. No use lamenting bad decisions I’ve made. I’d like to say I’m in the clear and going forward all decisions will be stellar but I can’t say that with any certainty at all.

So it looks like we have about 180 days to figure things out; maybe more.

I’m just gonna opt to see the good side of things; a new adventure, new faces, new things to explore, new opportunities.

I learned a lot here. I healed. I learned about myself. I grew in ways I didn’t even know I needed to. It’s bittersweet. I really liked it here. But I’m not gonna cry. I’m overdue. I haven’t cried in a while, but now is not the time.

Part of me feels this huge weight has lifted. I don’t have to keep spinning anymore; trying so hard to keep everything afloat. I can breath. I can let it all go. Everything I was holding on so tightly too. Every dream I had of living here happily, of stability, of a future for my children and myself. All dead.

Oh well. No use right now worrying about it. It’s over and done with. Can’t reverse time. Can’t undue choices from the past. If I could I would start much farther back than just 3 years ago anyway. No use. No use at all.

Bye Oregon. πŸšͺ I don’t anticipate ever coming back. I don’t think I ever will want to…far too painful of a memory. Cest la vie. πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

10 thoughts on “Bye girl”

  1. 😦 Why must you leave the state? If you’re losing your house, are you going to go live with family? Damn, this sucks. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I want to leave. These last few years here have been some of the hardest in my entire life and that’s truly saying a lot. I’m losing everything I have, everything I have worked so hard for. I gave everything to this business and this house and I just can’t do it anymore and the pain of that resounds way too loud.

      Plus. Move where? I can maybe afford $1200 rent. I have 3 kids, 3 pets, and I need a garage. I would have to move to a not great neighborhood with high crime and more bullies. I’m a single mom with 3 girls, the last thing I want to do is put them in danger. They are my number 1 priority.

      All this stuff, all I’ve lost, as hard as I’ve worked, all I’ve sacrificed…..it hurts, but I can live with it. I can’t live with something happening to my kids because I had to move them to a bad area, because that’s all we could afford.

      Moving sucks balls and if I have to do it again u may as well go somewhere totally new. Shake things completely up. Move to an affordable, nice little beach town with no traffic and good schools. I don’t need some high powered job. I don’t need millions in the bank. I just want to live a happy life with my kidlets. And I can’t seem to get that here. So I’m done. Done trying. Just don’t working so damn hard.

      You’re young and I know none of this is relevant to your life and what you have gone through, but I know you’re sweet and sensitive enough to grasp the deep sense of loss and pain here.

      I just can’t stay. The welcome mat was never put out anyway.

      Like

      1. I understand, Miss. However as a word of advice not from someone more experienced but rather a third party perspective, you should carefully consider the most efficient and reasonable course and not an emotional one for the sake of your children. I don’t know what your business is or the hours you work, but perhaps if it’s not netting you enough to provide for your children and a decent place to live then you can reach out for help in other areas. I won’t presume to guide you down the correct path but rather only want to remind you to not reflexively cast away things. Think about what is best for you and your kids long term. I recommend seeking advice by posting on reddit. /r/FinancialPlanning/

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you.

        You are new to this show, but I have tried all I could. Even I went to get more help and got help getting me current on my mortgage it would only be setting me up to fail more. My mortgage far outpaced my income.

        I was not able to build my business quick enough or retain clients well enough. It’s fine. Really. I appreciate the concern and you trying to help. Maybe I’ll give Reddit a spin. I’ve been meaning to be more active on their. It just feels like one more time suck though; albeit an enjoyable one as I do so love to read.

        Like

      3. This is why I’m trying to direct you somewhere where you will find the most impactful advice. Your time right now is very precious. I wish I could help but I only just started my own new job. Please try explaining your situation in a detailed post asking for advice on reddit. r FinancialPlanning

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s