The last ebbs of the relationship where you try to not let go, but you realize the rope has already slipped out of your hand and you just can’t pick it up. You’re not even sure where it is.
Like when you begin a relationship you’re both on the same side holding the rope against the world. Both of your problems are now on the other side and you both have someone to face them with, someone to help. You both now have someone to look in the eye and offer comfort and strength to and know they are there with you, in the thick of it, going through it together, in glory and despair.
Then one day you look to the other side and you see them there. You look again, and again, and again. Because you know they shouldn’t be there. The relationship isn’t suppose to be a tug of war. How did they get on the wrong side? Is it you or is it them? You can’t even fully know. You don’t even understand when and how it happened.
Then one day you look and you’re no longer holding that rope. You’ve completely let it go. You still have your own demons to fight. You still have your own issues to work through. But them, and their baggage, their love, all that they were is no longer tethered to you. You’ve let it all go. It’s all a distant memory now of what it was at one time; of the dreams and hopes of what you wanted it to be.
And you could cry about it, if you thought about it too much. But what is there to do? You lift one foot and place it in front of the other and keep going. Wherever it is you’re meant to be. It’s all part of the collage of your life. Isn’t it?
It is.
It’s very sad to reflect on the happy beginnings and how it drifted apart. I hope you find that comfortable happy beginning once again.
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Thanks. I’m a bit ambivalent right now about even thinking of the future. I’ve got enough on my plate right this moment.
Plus I’m still trying to figure out how to not lose him as a friend. If that’s even possible.
It’s all very bittersweet feeling.
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I can sympathize. Long before I realized I wanted a more dynamic D/s relationship, my ex of four years and I were in the process of getting married but drifted apart and mutually decided to end things. We still communicate but it’s all interpersonal over facebook messenger and whatnot. Rare. Friendship is an interesting topic as an adult, where I wonder if it holds much meaning with people we don’t regularly communicate with. I’ve had friends I’ve known for fifteen years that I at least keep up with online fairly frequently, but it’s always difficult to remain friends with someone you’ve shared your most intimate moments with, only for it to turn out they didn’t fully accept you or vise versa.
Usually we resolve that by just taking an indifferent cordial stance, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. My parents violently imploded in their relationship, divorced, made a mess for me and my siblings future, etc, so I would have preferred a cordial indifferent end for sure. It may feel a little regrettable but sometimes distancing yourself to a certain threshold, in order for you to grow and find yourself again isn’t a bad choice. If this is a recent breakup you may just want to take some time to collect yourself so you aren’t rebounding emotions out of desperation. Haha.
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Yes. Very true. On all counts. Except the cordial indifference sounds so cold.
In terms of your parents I’m so sorry. Sometimes in some relationships there seems to be able to be only love and hate and no in between. Divorce brings out of he worst in people. That’s for sure. I’m sorry it affected you so badly. It’s interesting how it then colors our own experiences. Isn’t it?
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It is. 🙂
I know if I have children that I’ll be a better parent and make certain to treat the mother of said children with respect, even if we have to part ways.
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Well. That’s a valuable lesson many people don’t seem to grasp. So….there is that. 🥰👍🏽
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I love your name by the way.
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Thank you for the compliment. I’ve always been embarrassed that I’m a baby/young horsey, technically. Haha.
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I always thought of it as a strong name. No one is called stallion but Colt is pretty close to that I think. Lol
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