Guess it depends what the situation is how long that might feel; it could feel like a breeze or an eternity.
I dropped Brad off at the airport this morning. That’s how long he will be gone. 3 weeks. I told him we shouldn’t talk at all during that time. I had to explain it to him repeatedly because he kept protesting it. I’m not trying to be cruel. Honestly it will be just as hard for me as it will be for him.
(He will be entertained by his family and the trials and tribulations of traveling and being in a new location. I have work and the kids to submerge myself into. Plus I want to get this garage sale thing going, once I figure out the stance of our living situation.)
I told him if we were going to really be friends, just friends, that we need some distance between us…. emotional distance. We are both very codependent on each other. Which theoretically is fine if we were in a relationship but this limbo thing we have going on needs to metamorphosize into something far less volatile….. for both of our sakes.
But I like being codependent. I remember after the first date I had with Aaron we never spent another day apart, unless we were broken up….which happened way too much. Lol
Truthfully marriage was good for me in the sense that I committed to such an extent I was willing to work through anything. But that also meant I was willing to overlook a lot, too much maybe. Until the day came I realized some things can not be unknown or unseen and it was worth it to leave, at any cost.
So yea….3 weeks. We’ll see how fast or slow it goes. Won’t we? It reminds me of dieting. I would sometimes carry a journal around and write all the things I craved and had a running list of top ten cravings and change the numeration of that as needed. The plan was that as soon as I was done dieting I would let myself indulge in my cravings starting at number 1. The funny thing was that usually wanting them was always a much more powerful experience than the joy of actually having them was.
We humans are very interesting creatures. Aren’t we? I love seeing the workings of my own mind. I love seeing the games I play with myself, especially the ones I am barely conscious of. It’s all so fascinating to me and there is just so much truth to the adage “how you do one thing is how you do all things”. Obviously not always but I would say mostly…. mostly that’s very, very true.