Just fucking wow (*updated)

I totally don’t get it. Because I was past due $455 on a $1800 debt to the state tax board they go and cease every penny I have.

I’ve never, ever unlawfully shirked on paying people what I owe. I say unlawfully because when married we did lose our house and declare bankruptcy and I’m still crawling out of that credit fiasco. Otherwise I pay every debt, eventually; no matter who it’s to.

So now they took every penny out of my meager bank accounts. Ceased it all. Not just the money I owed from the payment plan. No. Every fucking penny.

What do these people think happens? Some magical fairy comes and gives me cash for gas and groceries and my bills. That I have a safe with loads of $20’s just sitting around my house? They wiped everything out. The small amount in saving. The small amount in checking. Even the $25 in the account Brad had set up to put money in for me. All gone. Like how do they expect people to live?

I have 3 kids. I was on food stamps up until last month. No call. No warning. No red envelope like the electric company. Nope. Nothing. Just took it all!!! Then the bank penalizes me $75. Plus any overdraft fees I incur. How is this legal? How can they do this?

I am poor. I am not a criminal. I was honestly just trying to get my ducks in a row. Figure out my mortgage issue. It was on my to do list to pay them. I was waiting until the end of the month when I was going to hear back from this other situation.

I’m in a borrow Peter to pay Paul situation here. Struggling. Working my ass off. Trying to just survive.

I didn’t have my cryfest the other night. I had hopes I could somehow get through to someone. Be able to fix this. I can’t. No one cares. The system is in place. There is no room for errors and humanity. There are no rooms for mistakes and oversights and problems no one cares about.

Jesus!!!!!

Fuck!!!!!!!

I hate this world sometimes.

😣😭😣

*Oh…..

And now too, because they took every penny, but it’s not the full amount owed……now I have to worry about more garnishments. It never ends. They don’t let you crawl out of the hole of poverty. They just bury you deeper and deeper.

And how maybe you ask do I even owe the tax board money? I’ve honestly never owed before. I’ve never had that privilege of making so much money I’ve owed taxes before. And that wasn’t the case this time either unfortunately. My ex gave me a settlement when we divorced. It was in the form of a 401k. I withdrew it to start the business and buy this house, which incurred huge penalities and taxes.

I thought I was setting my future up. Stability for my children. A business I could believe in, helping people. I put everything into this endeavor and it’s all crashing down around me it seems.

Sometimes my life presents like one mistake after another. I’m trying to not see it that way. I’m trying to accept that “it is what it is” and that my little families health and happiness is the most important thing. But it’s hard to be healthy and happy when you have such financial instability.

Now what? Now fucking what?

I guess we still wait to hear back from the mortgage company and see what becomes of that.

Good thing I’m not the suicidal type because this sure is pushing me to the brink. I am not though. I learned that lesson already. The hard way. I have kids. I don’t have the right to leave them worse off. Money isn’t everything. It’s just one way this world keeps you on your knees, beholden to its materialistic values. Just one way.

Maybe I should take a vow of poverty. I would. I don’t care about my own needs much. I can make due. I can manage. But these kiddos. What of them?

Life sure does bitch slap you around sometimes, doesn’t it? And the consolation is suppose to be that “it hasn’t killed me”? Yea. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

4 thoughts on “Just fucking wow (*updated)”

    1. I have a virtual account that my credit card payments from my clients go into. It’s literally the only money I have now. It’s not very much but it’s enough to survive this thing out I hope. Fortunately. I just never saw this coming. I’m trying not to be devastated. If they take that money too I’m absolutely screwed. I don’t carry or have cash around generally.

      I don’t get it. I’ve been so good. Not spending money. Not gambling. Not buying things that aren’t absolutely necessary and then they go and do this. Warped way things seem to be working in my life right now. 😬😭

      Like

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