Trump was the last straw

Brad and I officially broke up

Which is hard to do when you’re not even really a couple to begin with

It started out innocently enough

I was talking about what a sweet gesture it was that a whole bunch of constituents went to the Michigan airport to welcome congresswoman Ilhan Omar home with cheers and signs saying “Welcome Home”. I just thought it was so heartwarming. Brad said absolutely nothing to this.

So at his house once we settled down cozy in bed to watch a movie I asked him what he thought of the tweets against the 4 congresswomen. First he says that it’s the media’s vendetta against Trump. I told him the tweets were verifiable. He goes off on some tangent about illegal immigration. I steered him back.

I told him “look, you can like whoever you want but know who they are”. He refuses to even look at Trumps behavior. He stands by him unwaveringly, which is fine….but I can not respect you unless you know exactly who you are standing behind. I told him to get his head out of the sand.

He then refused to talk about it with me because “I get too upset”. It doesn’t matter that he gets upset too, only that I do. That’s the main issue I guess. My anger….. and he asks “if I want him to take me home?”. Which at the time seemed like a veiled threat. I go to the restroom to think about all this for a minute and realize I just can’t let it go.

He drove me home like a bat out of hell. Swerving in and out of traffic, even putting his high beams on cars driving too slow in the fast lane. We didn’t say a word to each other. I wasn’t angry. More than anything I felt relieved. I felt like this finalized a lot for me. I felt like it was ok. I was not mad, not sad, not anything other than just praying I’d make it home safely.

I still care about him, deeply. I don’t have some switch inside that just turns that off. All the way home that Elton John song kept ringing in my ears “I want love”. I couldn’t remember the lyrics, except the “won’t break me down part”. And that’s it. That’s what I want. A love that lifts me up. I don’t need more stress in my life. I don’t need another kid.

I was reading this article about great fictional quotes and the one about sometimes wanting is better than having struck me deeply as did the one that said “we get the love we think we deserve”.

I don’t have the answers here. I’m just trying to be true to myself. I’m happy to be home, safely. Happy to be surrounded by my little chiclets. If I can’t have what I deeply want and need…..maybe not having it isn’t the worst thing. It allows me to keep dreaming. It allows me to focus on myself. It allows me freedom. And freedom is one of the greatest things this world can give you. One of the greatest feelings in the world. Isn’t it?

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

5 thoughts on “Trump was the last straw”

  1. My two cents about what I’ve learned from family and friends and support Trump. They don’t like him IN SPITE OF his racism, misogyny, egomaniacal, lying, bullying behavior. They like him BECAUSE of those things. Their support is a view into their soul and it tells me they are not worth having in my life. It’s not a political thing, it’s a human thing. Because frankly, I can find SOME things about him politically acceptable to me. But it comes wrapped in his immoral cancer that is destroying what America stands for. And I can’t just say, “well, other than that, yeah, he’s okay, to each his own” I’ve dumped and avoid any (former) friends and family members who support him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s just so divisive. I really think we need the opposite of that in this world and I don’t want to put up more walls and create more of an us vs them thing. That also seems wrong.

      I had to take a stand because I had to stand for what I believe in. It’s a shame is all. I don’t get it. It saddens me profoundly really.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. i actually sometimes like that he calls people out, but also a lot of it seems like bullying or intimidation. It’s like he is the poster child for the end of “civil discourse”. Like I’m not sure we had any before but now it really seems dead.

    Like

  3. I find it appalling that people put up with Trump’s anti-American, racist, misogynistic behavior. I have a brother and a friend who support Trump and I am finding it harder and harder to be with them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I honestly don’t mind that anyone supports him if they can site why and it can A) be despite and not because of his flawed views on immigrants. B) knowing who he is; that he is a racist, misogynistic, opportunistic, rich kid with a low level intelligence and seemingly even less integrity that is much more interested in his bottom line and his ego than in world policies and government expenditures. I don’t know that he has much heart for people. He seems to have allegiance to money and power alone. But I can still see that he seems to be bumbling his way ok so far and almost unscathed which seems a feet unto itself.

      I’m amazed Puerto Rico has the military resources it does? We can’t fix their infrastructure but we can militarize against the people. That to me seems bizarre. Maybe if they asked the people. Hey. We can spend $5 million fighting against you or we can spend the $5 repairing infrastructure we should have repaired already anyway. I know it’s not good to reward bad behavior but also if we had a hand or an obligation there to begin with.

      Hard to have a conversation via this thing sometimes. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

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