I finally told the teenager about our financial situation. Not to stress her out but just to clue her in a bit. Kids are so much more perceptive than we think they are, and we are much more transparent then we think we are. It’s really hard to hide stress too. It seeps out and makes itself known in ways we never even realize.
So I told her, we may need to move somewhere where I can afford a two bedroom apartment on less than the alimony and child support I receive from their father. That way I could work at Burger King (per say) and we’d be fine. I explained that we can’t move back to CA or stay here as I refuse to move them to the ghetto and have them go to bad schools with teachers that are working way too hard in a system that fails everyone that is poor.
I mentioned Pittsburgh and I very over-dramatically held her and said “but we always have each other”. She laughed.
I love Oregon. I really do. It’s beautiful and has this laid back energy about it, not as laid back as Hawaii, but still really great. If we have to move, which is option #2 I want to move somewhere people embrace newcomers more though.
I’ve never experienced the pushback I feel here from some natives and even just long term settlers. It’s this territorial hatred almost. Not directed at me personally, but it’s there seething in some people. Misdirected rage at something that is out of their control and feels completely out of control to them. I get it but I don’t particularly like being caught in it.
How is it people’s fault that they want better for themselves and their children; that people want and need to move to where jobs are plentiful and there is more affordable housing, and a better quality of life for themselves. Isn’t that the way humans have always migrated; seeking a better life?
Anyway…..I’m thinking a quiet beach town with decent schools. Somewhere I can maybe set up my practice again or at least the spiritual healing aspect of it, eventually. IDK. I’m still in a holding pattern. But I’m trying to open my eyes to the possible necessity of a new horizon and see it as a positive and not a negative. After all, every action always has both negative and positive aspects to it and all change, even good change, can be hard.
But whatever happens, happens. I actually also applied for a temporary position as a writer for the Good News Network. Writing is so second nature to me and I would love nothing more than to be able to focus on happiness and putting positive energy into the world, plus it pays pretty decent too….even if it is only a 10 day assignment.
Life puts you where it wants you to be. I just keep reaching out for the possibilities; focusing on the good. Sometimes that’s all you can do and that to me is enough right now; enough to stay pretty happy….and that ain’t nothing. 🥰
Enjoy yourselves today!!