Brad Update

That man drives me crazy in so many ways. I did a list of pro’s and con’s and both lists were almost equal and covering both sides of a page.

We’ve slowed things down sexually for several reasons. For starters he can no longer maintain an erection for any good amount of time, even with Viagra. Secondly our play was just getting out of hand. Last time we played he tied me up and when untying me he inadvertently cut me deep enough to draw blood and leave what I can tell will be a lifelong mark (scar).

I’ve also put a complete moratorium on all inappropriate perversion. No more wild fantasies about family members or whatever. Which has left us at a bit of a lull. I’m absolutely fine with it. Actually, I’m really happy about it. Will this inspire him to actually really try to make love? Doubtful. But who knows.

We just like spending time with each other. I’m free to do as I please and as long as he runs it by me so is he really. Why would I stop him? I am possessive and jealous but I’m also realistic. People have needs. If I’m not filling them he is free to go elsewhere. I am ever transparent about myself and I expect the same. That’s all.

He still keeps talking about marriage though and I’m not sure he’s understanding how far away we are from that. His health is getting rapidly worse it seems. His back isn’t healing. His mental health is starting to get affected by his lack of movement and being able to do simple things. Yet I haven’t offered to help him because he has rejected my offers to treat him holistically before and reprimanded my own ways to treat myself and my children so many times I don’t see a point anymore.

He is completely enamored with Western medicine even though it hasn’t helped him very much. And in my opinion has actually made things worse but he won’t listen. Stubborn thing that he is. Oh well.

Just one more disconnect between us. At this point I’ve decided I’m officially giving up on finding a partner for myself beyond just a person to spend some time with when I can and fuck here and there anyway. That’s it. Those are my expectations. Well obviously even in that capacity I want to be doted on and pampered. But that’s a given. Isn’t it? πŸ˜πŸ˜‰πŸ’‹

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

8 thoughts on “Brad Update”

    1. Don’t get me started.

      There are maybe two restaurant in town that remotely do some farm to table and they are my favorites for a reason. The food does taste better. The chemicals in the food at other places! The synthetic oils. It all makes a difference. Brad can even taste the freshness in the oil from anything deep fried. I don’t get why this is so hard to get through to people. Habits. It’s all bad habits. I have no room to judge. I’ve gained 25 pounds over the last year. Sees Candy gift card in my wallet right now. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Go for the doting and pampering. The issues around Brad’s health are worrisome. I mean what do the Western medicine doctors say is the problem?
    I would dote and pamper like the mad man that I am were I within 10 feet of you.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Christ. I mean. Western medicine usually requires one does what the doctors suggest. And they have pretty good experience with this stuff. Is the arthritis rheumatoid or osteoarthritis? But shit, ya gotta want to get better.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. He has so many issues. The doctors have pretty much given up on him and just don’t even give him pain meds anymore.

        I can’t tell you how often I see this happen.

        I don’t honestly know what kind of arthritis. He does want to get better but he has a lot of reasons for being in such bad shape. All justified and understandable.

        He won’t listen to me so I’ve given up even trying to help him.

        No one will know your body as well as you will. At the same time the body is capable of self healing on a wide range of issues. It’s all about getting your body into a state of homeostasis but…..that isn’t the western methodology. A lot of western methodology seems to be to address symptoms.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. To be sure. He should listen to you on diet, in particular. I have to phase out the gluten again, see how that affects inflammation and sugar. Got a bad case if not giving a fuck going on. From the pinched nerve and the teeth, but I think a lot of these symptoms might be inflammation-related. We shall see. Good bye sugar, wheat.

        Liked by 2 people

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