This day has always been symbolic to me. Not just of America’s Independence but of the spirit of freedom and Independence. Most people use New Year’s Eve to reevaluate their lives and set goals, but I tend to sit with those thoughts a lot on this day and the days leading up to 4th of July.
I tend to ask myself “am I liberated, am I free?”.
And I don’t mean that in the context of outside factors because we all have things we can’t quite escape. I mean inside myself.
This year I want to work on not judging myself. There is a difference between expecting the best from myself based on my own values and ideals and judging myself when I fail to meet those goals. I want to reserve my own judgement. Now this doesn’t mean I can’t reflect, correct, or grow from my mistakes. It means that I allow myself to be human and simply do my best at the given moment in time. That is after all…. what I am truly capable of.
I’m guessing it will mostly be enough, it may at times even let me surprise myself and other times it will fail abysmally. Because such is life.
I always tell people “my children will probably resent me for something I never saw coming”. So why should I have guilt? I’m trying my best here. I can’t be expected to do more than that. I wonder now if it’s the same with life. If the end of it will be the same. If I will be floored by the things that counted against me and the things that counted in my favor. If I will be amazed by the nuances of my own life and the things that drew judgement.
I’m not there. That isn’t my job, thankfully. So we shall see, shan’t we. Until then. I’m going to reserve judgement. It’s just beyond my pay grade frankly anyway and there is absolute no way to know what counts and how much it counts in the grand scheme of everything.
So I humbly step away from the judges table. It is a farce anyway. No one has that right. No mortal being does.
And that’s my freedom to myself this year. That’s my hope for myself.
I found this great article on achieving inner peace and freedom. It talks about it from a point of view of a parent dealing with a child’s addiction, but it all holds value none the less.
Take a look here if you need some inspiration for your own peace of mind.
Happy Independence Day!!