I stare
Eyes so wide they feel ready to burst
Heart accelerated
Breathing rapidly
I keep looking down at the wide expanse
My toes and ball of my feet half into the abyss
I am steady
But I can’t stop staring
Is it panic that makes me so still
I can feel my organs beating in my chest
Shouldn’t I step back
Shouldn’t I retreat
Why does it feel like it’s calling my name
The clouds are deceptive
Soft, cool, beautiful unending depth
I tell myself a mantra
Even if I don’t now fully believe it all
I say it
And I say it
Over and over
Over and over
Until it sinks in
To a deeper level
Until the panic subsides
I sing it
I yell it
Whatever it takes
To feel safe inside
“I love my life
I am in love with my life
I am not afraid
I am not afraid
I am grateful
I am grateful”
And the precipice begins to fade
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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