My mother told me I have until the end of the year to either find a sugar daddy or switch teams. She has, probably rightfully, concluded that I have zero skills to pick a healthy partner for myself. And it would be fine if I only had to contend with myself to be with the men I am attracted to, but not so much when I have three kidlets in tow.
I told her I accepted the challenge, but honestly I’m not sure how she expects me to do this. 1) money incentivizes me but more so really just the challenge of it, not so much the having or using it. Money itself holds little allure.
And while I like to feel sexy and desired I don’t like to be objectified or belittled (outside of the bedroom). And where does one just meet a sugar daddy? Yes. I’ve seen the apps. I think I’d have better luck at the poker halls maybe. At least I’ve been offered money there already. But the idea of it churns my stomach a tiny bit, although I do see the practicality of it.
I refuse to lie, deceive or pretend to be someone I am not (not including role playing) or feel something I don’t. That will never be me. I’m not the humoring kind of person. I’m just not. And aren’t most sugar daddies married? That’s a level of deceit I am not in favor of. Unless on some level she knows and condones it, which does exist.
2) Then too, my mother makes it sound like switching teams is easy. Like I just sign a roster and I’m done. Does any woman want to be my “let me just try this for a second and see if I like it” person? Maybe, but again I would have to be completely transparent and honestly attracted to them on some level and I don’t know (as boy crazy as I am) that it will stick even if it were to work out well.
Plus, does she really think these people are just lining up at my door? Hmmpphhhh. Suppose that’s why she gave me a 5 month deadline.
But then, of course, stupid me goes and tells Brad all this and he flips out. My mom’s stipulation was that it can’t be Brad. For starters he has no money and secondly he can’t seem to get it through his skull that I can’t marry him and that I am trying to compartamentalize my life with him into a more friends with benefits zone. Albeit a highly intimate friendship.
Yes, I realize I am a grown ass woman. I make my own decisions. So why would I let my mother tell me what to do? Well, for starters because I know in this case she has my best interest at heart. And being Hispanic we generally do what our parents tell us to, no matter our age. Period.
And she doesn’t usually tell me what to do very much. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes and if I prod her tells me why I am wrong but never says “do this”, because she knows I am a stubborn mule anyway. So when she puts her foot down I revert back to the little girl with her head bowed saying “yes Mama”. That’s just how it is.
Do I really intend to do this? Well. IDK. Not right this second at least. That’s as much as I know. It is a 5 month deadline and I am a queen procrastinater. So…..we shall see. Lol