Dear good, evil and source,
God I love you. You have provided me with comfort, blessings, signs, put people in my life that have helped me, saved me, protected me. You have given me insight and clarity and love unlike anyone ever has or could. I hold you in my heart so close that if you were tangible I’d be squeezing you so hard you’d probably suffocate.
Devil, I have known you from such a very young age. I have seen your power. I have the utmost respect for you, even as I try to stay out of your way. I know I have learned a lot and been helped a great deal from people that seemed to mean me great harm in life, from people more aligned to your agenda than God’s.
I have utter respect and reverence for both of you, but…… and please try to see this from my point of view…… I don’t want to play anymore. I don’t want to be caught in your game any longer. I want to live and see and grow outside of that. I mean beyond but not above obviously.
Your power is incomprehensible to us simple mortal humanoids, but there is something beyond you both. Something you both source your own energies from. A divine realm that supercedes your own and I want to reach that. I want to understand and be with that. While still living my own mortal existence here.
I don’t mean that I still don’t need your help and direction. I don’t mean that I take lightly your role in this world. I am nothing and no one and in no way am I comparing myself to you.
It actually scares me a bit to say all this. Because what is beyond is foreign to me, while you are both so familiar. And to let you go, and for you to let me go, will take me somewhere completely unknown and I am not sure I am prepared for. But much like any new experience…. is anyone ever truly prepared?
I have no road map here and also while trying to do this…… I am still having to navigate my very real human needs and life and responsibilities. It all gets very confusing to me.
So I am happy to be given signs that I am ok and headed where I need to be, even as I can’t see clearly where that is. And I know this whole new age movement says “see where you want to be clearly, so you can make it there”, but I honestly don’t really care where life takes me.
I just want to be happy being wherever I am. I just want a clear conscience and a peaceful and joyous heart throughout this journey. That means so much more to me than the end game. Because truly does anyone ever really know how the game ends anyway?