I hate that we put so much thought into how our bodies look rather than how our bodies feel. I get that instinctually men seek women of good birthing genes and women also seek men of strong genes and means to support prodigy. Yes yes, caveman, hunt, gather, survive. Please! Most of us couldn’t survive in nature if we were paid to. Which is why shows like “naked and afraid” are so noteworthy.
Why does it take humans so long to change? Animals go extinct and new animals are created in much less time than it has taken us to go from the wheel to the car. Evolutionarily speaking we are like thick sludgy molasses. Why?
I get that in the grand scheme of eternity our existence as humans will be but a blip barely registered on the Richter scale, but it just seems like we are capable of so much more than we settle for. I think we can bypass our evolutionary predispositions through conscious enlightenment. In fact I venture to say that is the only way to get out of the rut humanity finds itself in.
It just boggles my mind that we are and have been such fucking idiots for sooooo very long. We have wars, rape, greed, deception, killing, pillaging, hatred as a staple of society. And while yes fortunately there is the flip side of all of those and the majority of people if not good and decent are at least mostly neutral and negligible; it still seems we are evolutionarily speaking…. morons.
What am I so angry about you ask? Lol. Don’t laugh. But…..
I’m angry that I’ve gained 25 pounds since last year and summer is coming and it’s going to be a struggle to not feel like a beached whale in my bathing suit.
I can and can’t blame society. Yes society can be crappy and the media is bullshit but I’m an adult and I should be capable of feeling good about myself regardless of how I look. This is the equivalent of an adult blaming their parents for a shitty upbringing except that those same parents are still always around reminding you how crappy you are every chance they get and worse yet it seems so much of society seems to agree with them. Lol. At what point do you accept responsibility for your own thoughts about yourself?
I know that the better I feel about myself, the more I love myself the better I take care of myself. So loving who I am (in whatever fashion that presents at any given time) is much better for me, on every level. But sometimes it feels like fighting a strong tide.
The more I can love and accept myself, the more I can authentically love and accept others. Except being the subservient self I am I can always see the value of others much clearer than my own. This has to stop. This has to be the year of self love. The year of self-nurturing. The year of figuring out what I want: me. The year of learning to enjoy myself and finding that line where self advocacy and self indulgence collide and criss crossing it avidly.
I’m going to just keep doing what I’m doing. I feel like I’m growing. It’s at a slow pace but…… then again ……. evolutionarily speaking …..I guess not so much.