Let me let the cat out of the bag…..
So I was rattling my brain trying to figure this work thing out. I even called my mom to no avail. First, a colleague offered me two days in her clinic. We have the exact same equipment and I adore her. She’s been in practice 25 years and she has enough work to be open 7 days but is only open 5. So I am taking 2 days until her employee gets back from leave in October. It’s income I can rely on, which will also allow me 5 days to work on my own business.
But before that happened I went to the Wyndham timeshare interview and after I accepted the job from my colleague I got offered a second interview for the position I wanted with the timeshare; which was inside marketing as opposed to outside marketing at events and just out and about. Not that I wouldn’t be good at either but just to make things easier it’s nice to have people come to you.
The pay structure is really good too, base plus commission. Plus great benefits; medical, 401k matching and more. It’s meeting a quota but it seemed a very reasonable one and I’ve worked under quotas before. As long as the numbers are there to achieve the quota then it’s all good. It’s like how I feel about dating…..you just keep at it, not taking rejection personal, and enjoying interacting and meeting people; over and over and over. Same thing really just a different goal.
So. I decided to take the second interview because I figured if I get offered the job, which isn’t even full-time, if it comes down to it and I enjoy it and the pay really does come through then I can always sublet my business. While still helping Jill out too. I even have someone who I think would be superb at it and overqualified since she’s a nurse. I can work both these other jobs and pay off my debt and build some savings.
Anyway. I was still very conflicted because that’s a lot of balls to juggle and I’ve worked my ass off for almost two years building my baby (business) up and it would be hard to let it go. But also, then of course, not having financial stress and knowing I can help my girls with college and have good benefits and real medical and not this free, no dental, vision or mental health care plan.
So then…….as fate often does. It intervened. See…this right here is a prime example of why I say worry is a waste of time. Because we don’t always or even often get to see what lies ahead. We merely get an inkling based on past experiences, current parameters, and gut instinct.
Yesterday I get a message from a very young woman wanting colonics. I called her back and was going to ask her age since she sounded so young, but when I got her on the phone her maturity level was much more obvious. She wanted an emergency appointment, she’s coming from 3 hours away and has cancer. I was apprehensive but when she said she was on hospice and her doctors approved I felt compelled to help her, of course.
So I booked her for after my second interview today, but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to have the energy for her. So I cancelled the interview. They either reschedule to a time and day that works for me or they don’t. I’m not sure there is much more to it. I don’t feel bad. I have absolutely zero regrets and there is nothing more to think about really.
Zero is zero.
I want to clear my space really well for her. Work on grounding myself and aligning my own energy. I haven’t done any intentional energy work on any of my clients for a while. I’ve just had a lot going on personally and I’m not sure where I stand with that all right now. But I do know if she wants me to I would like to say a prayer for her. We shall see. It’s not about me anyway. I know I’m just a conduit*.
I’m just truly looking forward to meeting her. Brad says…..”how can you handle that?”. Truthfully not that long ago I am not sure I could have. But recently I’ve been killing ants**. I know. Shocking. 🤣 But how I justify doing it is by saying a prayer for them. After all, how great could it be to be an ant? I mean really? And I kind of feel the same way about being human lately. How great really is it?
There has got to be better realities, better experiences, better connection to self and spirit than this crazy place. And I’m sorry if I sound ungrateful, I am definitely not trying to be. If anything I am one who tries to make the absolute best of everything life hands me and I am so happy for any kindness and generosity I receive. I like to think I only have one time on this merry-go-round and I try to enjoy it and make the most sense I can of it.
It will end for us all one way or another. So who’s to say how, when, why, and where, and even yet…..what comes next? I like to think that just likes the ants the good souls of this Earth travel on to much better planes of existence and it’s sad to lose beautiful souls but it’s also so nice we got to love and have them in this world, for however long they came for.
This existence isn’t everything. It’s just one thing. I guess I chose to embrace the chaos and laugh and cry my way through; one way or the other. That’s all I can figure to do really. I mean…what else is there? Not much else I’ve seen brings peace of mind like acceptance does.
That’s my stand and I’m sticking to it; while also acknowledging that miracles happen. They do happen indeed, I just don’t happen to be in charge of those decisions. I’m just here doing the best I can. 😉
*Like we all are. I don’t claim to be special.
**I typically don’t kill things. Not that I haven’t before. Sustenence is also a much different thing but anyway…… I just don’t feel its my right knowing what I know about the spirit and soul of everything and everyone***. It’s just that in my business I try to maintain a certain very high level of cleanliness and ants, spiders, what have you are not allowed. To be fair even my kids aren’t allowed in here and I love them. Lol. I can get spiders out but trying to coral ants to get them outside is a uselessly time-consuming endeavor. Try it for yourself. Interesting pastime I guess if you needed one.
***I am pro-life and pro-abortion if anyone cares. I believe every soul deserves to be born once it is conceived but I also believe it’s no one’s right to force a woman to carry a baby she’s doesn’t want and/or can’t afford in a world that does little to support the nutritionally and emotionally starved children it has already.