Some people like pushing that title onto people. Maybe it makes them feel better and/or makes people scared and easier to control or is part of this fake sympathy thing we have going on here I think, but who knows. I don’t really care. I don’t like that title. I know I can rightfully claim it but I will gladly pass on that torch. Victim is not my label. Vitcim is NOT my saga, my final story. It is a blip, I will grant you a long ass one but no……….
This story is about triumph. This story is about valor. This story is about walking through the pits of hell with my heart intact and thanking God, and the angels (both the human kind and those in the spirit world) for helping me, for pushing me when I needed, pulling me when I thought I couldn’t anymore, guiding me but more importantly for loving me and walking beside me tenderly holding my hand, and for helping making it all ok again.
Last week was hard. I’m still spinning. But I’m catching my breath. Slowly. Slowly.
And for those of you interested, I’m still a jackass (sometimes) as I proved this week when I said something dumb about naturopaths making all this money,to a group of naturopaths that were for all intents and purposes interviewing me. It’s wrong. It was not my place to say it regardless and it was really a giant foot in the mouth. I’ve realized I don’t do good in group settings where I am not lecturing. Group discussions in situations where I feel powerless are very uncomfortable and awkward for me. Like group interviews.
Funny that I’m complaining about something required of inmates and they have more at stake. I guess we all must rise or fail. I prefer to land softly at grace and humility but who am I kidding. I’m human. I’m a dumb-ass human but I’m back to thinking it can be pretty grand still sometimes. And that ain’t nothing. Lol