Stress not at deathcon

So my stress levels is no longer at deathcon levels but I’m still having a hard time with what should be normal activities. I’m better. Trying. “Hanging in there.”

My middle is sick again. These preemie girls. Of course that just makes me blame myself. Why did I have them so late in life? Why did I settle for the man that didn’t put my* trust and well-being ahead of himself and leave me in this single mom status? I could go on and on and on. No one has to live my truth. No one has to understand and God knows I would never want anyone ever to suffer what I have suffered through.

We all must carry our own crosses. Jesus wasn’t the only one. And we must all decide to rise to the glory that we can be or succumb to circumstance or defeat or sheer plain laziness.

Life is what you make of it. Sure. True. But it can be so much more too, so much more, if you let it.

Brad says that alien life forms that come here will be just as villainous as we are. Pilfer, plunder, destroy if we don’t destroy ourselves first. I also believe that can be true because we are pretty fucking retarded sometimes with things and socially our society is pretty fucking nightmarish sometimes.

I also believe that it is possible and probable that some alien lives are living more closely with God. They are more spiritually aligned and vibrate at a much higher frequency than we do. Much higher. Even though we seem to be capable it is not something we strive for in this society too much beyond lip service sometimes it seems to me; but then again this also includes me sometimes**. But I’m just back to trying to find my spot to keep watching the show. Wonder what comes next? Did I miss anything? I wasn’t gone too long I think. πŸ€£πŸ˜‹


**Or I would always do the things I know I need to do to be of a clearer mind and body.

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but it’s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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