Ultimate Truth

Is there such a thing as “the ultimate truth”? I dare say not. Even death which seemed the quintessential proof of an ultimate end has been upended. Scientist recently revived a dead pigs brain cells proving as the article states “cells in the postmortem brain may still have the capacity to be revived“. Ok.

So why all the hubub about “my” truth vs “your” truth? If we all showed compassion, kindness, respect and a willingness to cohabitate peacefully with each other would it even matter? I dare say that it absolutely would not.


Today I had an early morning client and a late night emergency client. In between I sandwiched a bunch of chores and a nice foot massage date with a friend I hadn’t seen in almost a year. I’m going to write it off as research, plus it was less than a typical dinner out for just me and the girls (not that we do that much, but I rarely buy myself anything and I really felt I needed it) plus I do offer foot reflexology so it’s good to learn new techniques and remember what feels good and what maybe doesn’t and I’ve always been a hands on learner.

Donna reminded me that I need to honor my gut instinct, even if it’s wrong it’s better to err on the side of honoring it. Especially if it is meant to protect me and isn’t harming others in the process. She reminded me how smart I’ve been and how it has kept me safe and sane countless times. It was what I really needed to hear, even if it means going back to the drawing board of my own subconscious sabbotage to learn how to navigate my own treacherous demons to find the happiness I am seeking.

Nothing worth having comes easy in life. Had anyone told me 30 years ago in the midst of my teenage depression and angst about all the crap I’d go through in life I probably would have walked in front of a train. Of course I had zero coping skills then. Reminds me of one of the women I met when I went to the mental “spa”/detox center. She had just resurfaced memories of being abused by her father.

This was all new to her. So while the majority of women there (and maybe men, although none admitted it) had suffered severe child abuse as well, we had all developed coping mechanisms. Maybe not the best ones, seeing as everyone was there for drug or alcohol issues. But we all had them. She did not and to say she was completely and totally at a loss of how to even function in her world anymore was an understatement.

But …

I’m not trying to sound ungrateful here. Obviously this was the path I was meant to be on. With difficulties comes insight and compassion; at least if you’re doing it half ok it does. If you can’t cope with the difficulties and self or other harm then obviously some healthy or helpful coping skills still need to be developed.

I don’t need coping skills. I think my arsenal is really great, although I could use some improvements when it comes to dealing with driving in heavy traffic. ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ™„. But overall I think I’m good there. But when it comes to making decisions that are truly beneficial for my life: put me where I want to be, giving me what I want to have, and making me who I want to be as well as determining who I give my time and attention to….. I still seem to falter somewhat there. Part of the broken human trajectory?

I suppose it’s all part of some stupid master plan I don’t get at all. So many thousands upon thousands of years we inhabit this planet to still royally suck at being decent human beings who love each other and the planet we live on. What’s it going to take? I mean really. I’m not saying I personally was set up to fail. I am saying we ALL seem set up to fail in this system.

Who do you know, personally know, first hand account, someone that is truly happy in this life? Someone that enjoys who they are, who they love, what they have, and the entire world around them? I venture to say no one.

Marriages are by most people’s accounts pretty abysmal. Most people hate their job. Most people hate some, if not a good portion, of their appearance. Most people are not satisfied with their quality of life; be it who they are, what they do, how much money/possessions they have, where they live, who they know/love, etc. etc. etc.

Life seems one big shit-show of dissatisfaction. I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. Why not be satisfied? This is why I love the serenity prayer. Did you know there are more verses than the simple one you see? I put it below with my own edits, because I don’t like to just leave things alone but feel free to Google it if you want to see the original on. It’s more Christian based and I’m more “doing my own God thing here, thanks kindly all the same” kind of plan.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking myself and this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy in the next.

Sleep well. I probably won’t; as the little has a bad cold and stuffy nose. But hey….. I also managed to get in a great session with my Lelo today. I want to personally kiss on the cheek the team that invented this thing, but um……I’ve heard complaints it’s not strong enough. Lol. Not from me though, not yet and hopefully not ever, but I get that all women are different and go through different stages in life and not all women like toys. To each her own, some find it more difficult to cum with them. But back to my happy dance. Woot, woot.*


Can I appropriate sports when I don’t generally like or watch them? I just love language and the beauty of words and the feeling behind them. It’s all so fascinatingly beautiful. Life is hauntingly sad and beautiful. Isn’t it?

Author: porngirl3

I have always enjoyed reading and writing. Maybe because I have always been on the quiet and reclusive side; which most people may not guess at first glance or if seeing me in a social setting, especially around people I am comfortable with but itโ€™s also not something I have an issue with. I need solitude to recharge. Writing gives me the peace and time to renew myself...here that is offered to you for your enjoyment and pleasure as well. I hope. Lol

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