I woke up stressed and feeling a bit down. I keep wondering why I am pushing Brad away? Will I ever find a man who gives me all I want and need? Or at least one I find joy in putting up with all his idiocyncrasies for?
Brad makes my life easier in some regards and can be a lot of fun. But……something just isn’t right and I have no idea how to fix it.
I don’t need a man to validate me!!!! I don’t. Any man. I can validate myself. I am worthy of all I want in life. Whether I get it or not, who knows, maybe…. hopefully. But regardless…..I am worthy. I am. I don’t need to justify that. I don’t need to pay dues. I don’t need to have someone give me permission.
I was born from a source beyond any human capacity to understand and I will eventually return to that source, someway, somehow. Until then I choose to see myself as worthy of all the joy, love and beautiful experiences life has to offer me. Because why the hell not? And NO MAN can give that or take that away from me. My divinity is inherently in me and in control of no one else but me and this divine source.
This is my belief and I stand firm with it.
This is not to say I am an island. Far from it; I am a kaleidoscope of all the people, places, ideas and things I have let into my heart and soul. They have shaped me and will continue to do so. So I must try as much as possible to surround myself with entities that uplift and support my inner and outer well being if I am to thrive and survive and find peace in this trajectory.
And then of course make peace with those things I can not change to not drive myself crazy.
This thing with Brad is something I can not change and I need to just accept it. It is through no fault of my own. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.
Wishing you all a day of inner peace.