I could very easily and probably appropriately see myself as a victim in this life, but I just don’t see the point of it.
I’m not being callous. It just doesn’t seem productive to me. Mourn, learn from any mistakes or role you played in it and move the fuck on.
Brad and I split up last night and I know this has been a rollercoaster of a thing from the beginning but alas that seems to be the way my love life goes. It’s a trend I’ll be happy to break one day.
I hope we stay friends, real friends and of course I’d love to keep fucking him and going to sex clubs together here and there. Just not the whole relationship thing.
Don’t ask me if it’s me or him or what but the whole thing was just getting to be too much for me.
I was reading this article about pathological loneliness. Jeesh. Always something new to line up for. Why do we do this to ourselves? Knowledge is power but in this day and age I venture to say it’s just become way too overwhelming. I am almost of the mind that I’d rather be ignorantly and blissfully happy than hear one more psychological, medical, financial evaluation of my life.
I’ve got so much to do. Going to enjoy my breakfast in the beautiful morning sunlight. Feels like full spring. The birds are chirping. The flowers are blooming. The temperature is perfect. Not too cold, not too hot, not too windy, just a soft, cool breeze reminding you that it’s not summer yet.
I want to soak up the beauty that surrounds me and take off the shackles of all the things that are “wrong”. I want to embrace all the things that are good, all the things that make me happy.
If you don’t allow yourself to focus on the good, how do you expect to find happiness? It isn’t outside of you. It will never be. Outside things can only augment it.
I’ll just ignore the chemtrails above my head. Since there isn’t a God damn thing I can do about them anyway. I’ll rub my bare feet into the grass and be thankful for the many blessings my life does have.
“Smiles everyone! Smiles!” – Fantasy Island