Here is something that occurred to me a long time ago. My stance has changed since this happened. I no longer believe things are “just” a coincidence. So how do I explain this? I explain it as being what was meant to happen in my life at that time. Not that my actions conjured it up. More like it was preordained but it was also what I needed.
I was 21. I was not having a great time of it. I honestly can’t even remember why the big hubbub. I was just angry. Sooo angry and smart me decides it’s time to challenge God. I’m feeling that feisty.
So I start in; raging anger at God. Writing devil worshipping symbols on a piece of paper asking God to prove himself. I just remember being so mad I didn’t even care but even shocking myself (raised very Catholic) as to the words coming out of my mouth. After about 20 minutes I got tired and threw the paper away and went about my day. I was at work at the time. Working graveyards at the hotel.
Not even 2 hours later the Northridge earthquake hit. I almost wish I did believe in coincidences, but I knew even then what that meant. I have never said…… but more importantly I have never felt that way again, not purposefully at least.
Right now I do feel a bit sacrilegious when I purport the theory that because good is the opposite of evil, (to which we are both subjected to in this life) that like us they must draw their energy from something higher than itself. In my head this is all a bit more complex and organized than this. I am trying to simplify and abridge it.
Now, here is the thing though, I have no idea what that can be and having some knowledge of both of these entities you’d think I could make some sort of guess, but I can’t. I can’t wrap my head around something more powerful than that.
Of course….I get it. I only know what I know. I don’t have a starting point to even know where to begin to understand something beyond everything. It’s an interesting conundrum and one I never saw coming. Never, ever. And I’m just not sure where to go with this one.
I guess we shall see where it takes me, is the better way to see it. Lol